At-home weight: 297 lbs.
I dreamt all last night about acquiring and eating large quantities of favorite foods. In one dream, my current supervisor and an ex-client (who weigh less together than I do as one person) both tried to talk me out of ordering items from the “all you can eat” sub place that we were frequenting. Even the counter help tried to dissuade, manipulate and trick me out of my order, while I watched them serve countless, mouthwatering subs and other items to the crowds of people around me. In this dream, I needed to know what I could down and how it would taste, so when my (2!) subs came (tuna and cheese), I began voraciously eating them while standing at the order counter; savoring each crumb and feeling every morsel as it went down. Only to discover that I didn’t like, want or need it as bad as I thought when my husband woke me early so he could help me out of bed and with early morning routines, before rushing off to work as a school bus driver. (If he left me till he returned at 9:15 I’d probably pee the bed and be unable to get out alone till my incisions allow me to maneuver my bulk from flat to sitting, just yet).
Continue reading “In Your Dreams…”
At-home weight: 298.5 lbs.
Hey - hubby and I went to a few grocery and health food stores today and I managed every bit of it, including the bumpy, pot-holey ride there.
Although I’ve felt a little less energetic and slightly headachy today, overall given that it’s just the week’s anniversary of my surgery, I really can’t complain (although, of course, I do!).
Continue reading “The Real World and Unreal Food”
At-home weight: 303 lbs.
Today I had to get out of bed just before my husband left for work at 6:30 in fear of risking not being able to do this alone without ripping myself apart.
Continue reading “Helpless, Hobbled, and Hairy”
At-home Weight: 307.5 lbs.
Ah Glory - I slept in till like 9:30 and Tom stayed home all day (even skipping church - saying “the good Lord would understand”) to be good company and help. He is so wonderful in every way, I can’t imagine undergoing any of this without him. Today he did the laundry, fixed the lawnmower and cut the grass, ran the dishwasher, and basically fussed over my every need. He helped me wash my hair in the sink (this would have been hilarious if I wasn’t so hysterical about ensuring my groshong stay immaculately dry);,prick myself for daily glucose levels (I’m still too grossed out to do this myself), and shared TV and everyday events to keep me company and content.
Continue reading “Visitors Galore”
At-home weight: 309.5 lbs.
Ah, I’m still home, and I’ve lost 4.5 of my 9 pound weight gain. So…that makes me nearly 5 pounds fatter than when I started out. And I had already been wondering if all this pain and suffering was worth it….
Continue reading “Full Head, Empty Stomach or Empty Head, Full Stomach”
At-home weight: 313 lbs(!)
I’m a-comin’ home! That’s all I kept thinking when I woke this morning - glory halleluiah and can it get any better than this. Yes - but never mind that…today I escape the crazy routines and twenty-four hour intrusions called monitoring, and get to try my own wings. I feel probably like a mom bringing a first baby home and despite instinct, and instructions from caring nurses beforehand and guidance from loved ones - there remains a “yikes” factor.
Continue reading “May Day: Are We Home Yet?”
May 6th, 2009 | 
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