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Weight: 212.9 lbs.
Well, rather than going back down at least part of what I went up, I seem to have gone up some more! I am stymied about this, and if it keeps up, even my averages will be washed up. I thought that I got back on track, so this is discouraging - but I’ve got too much else to focus on and worry about right now to spend too much time or energy on such a matter.
Yesterday was a long day at work, culminating in a meeting with Kevin, my boss, who finally shared the reason behind piling me with so much extra work. I won’t reveal it here as he has asked that we not say until he has informed everyone, but suffice to say that it is adding to my overall sense of anxiety and stress. In fact, I left work weary and shook up, and trudged to my car in the far, back parking lot. I started shaking violently from the cold, and by the time I got in, I could hardly drive I was shaking so much. I shook all the way home and wondered if my coat was inadequate, my car heater was inefficient, or if my fat is melting away and leaving me vulnerable to such cold. I nearly crashed into an idiot driver a block from my house, and came home freezing, yawning so hard my body shook, and as tired as could be.
Immediately, I asked Tom to check my blood sugar due to yesterday’s high number, and because I’m not entirely stupid and wondered if it might actually be low this time due to how wierd I felt.
It was 61. And I HAD eaten a late afternoon snack some hours earlier.
It took me a long time to eat enough to feel human and stop shaking - now I realized from low sugar rather than the cold. Or, since this is Buffalo, perhaps in addition to the cold.
Then, after I ate, I promptly fell into a drooling sleep in front of the tv. Only after snacking some more later (on peanuts), did I actually feel human, and it was almost like suddenly I became infused with heat as this warming sensation overtook me and I could actually feel it sweeping upwards through my body and providing me relief from the chills. By the time I went to bed, I had renewed energy and could actually have gotten things done or something, if it weren’t bedtime instead.
So, now I wonder if my blood glucose levels are either swinging all over, or if the lip thing was just an invalid read and I usually run low, as I have been suspecting for some time. And, I can’t help but wonder if this has anything to do with the wierd fluctuations in my weight. Does this make any sense, or am I grasping for straws?
It does perhaps explain my chronic hunger, and my carb issues. I had a banana at work in the mid afternoon, and I wonder if this started it all. It is hard for me to eat in any semblence of a normal way at work, as I don’t get a dedicated lunch hour, and when I have back to back clients as I did yesterday (and will again today), this only leaves a moment here or there to stuff something quick into my face. Bananas tend to be my work staple for this reason, and I also have a stash of Atkins and granola type bars in my drawer. When I get a little more time, I may munch on drawer nuts instead. At times, I bring a low fat cheese stick or two, but since I don’t have refrgeration, I have to time these right so they don’t rot instead.
Anyway, today is gearing up to be similarily frustrating and stressful, and as I have to be in even earlier, I may not even have time to work out first. So, I’d best go now to see if there are some moments left to at least try to fit this in, although a break today doesn’t sound so bad either!
Weight: 234 lbs.
I am so full from dinner right now that I’m not sure whether to go hurl, or to finish this post first. Unfortunately, I had to start back on Prilosec yesterday, as I noticed the burning, hurty sensation and nausea that I had before that seemed indicative of a possible ulcer. I hate to take Prilosec, as each time that I have had to go back on it, although I feel better in all the above ways, it tends to deaden my ability to sense things like satiety, and I more easily can eat too much and not notice how full I am as readily. Without it, my “pouch” kicks up much sooner, and whether it is an ulcer or fullness, I am given a clearer signal that “ouch”, it’s time to stop eating.
Continue reading “Full and Full of Crap”
Weight: 238 lbs.
Ack — I hate when I gain weight the day my weekly weight posts! However, considering what I have eaten lately, I can’t blame the scale!
Well, I am off to another productive, energetic morning, bordering on mania. Again I got up early for no real reason and begin a million projects before the light of day. I must say that I took special pleasure in programming the $5 TV/VCR purchased at this weekend’s garage sales, and found it one of the most intuitive systems to use (which is good, since it didn’t come with a manual!). Normally I can’t even remember how (or why!) to use a VCR, given these days of DVRs, but I am recording tomorrow morning’s episode of Good Morning America for work, as the heads-up is that an all-developmentally-disabled band called “Flame,” also from NY, and who rivals the Aspire band I recently saw, are guests. I am always so inspired when individuals with disabilities triumph and excel in such talented ways, and look forward to watching them!
Continue reading “Mania Can Be Fun!”
Weight: 238 lbs.
My head feels full of fuzz, electricity, and murderous rage. There is way more in it of every kind (including racing thoughts, at times), except hair.
This is a pleasant intro to today’s entry, isn’t it?!
I am quite miserable and exhausted, and just awoke after several tries on Tom’s part to get me up sooner. I got out of work a little early and could think of nothing more suitable to do than to collapse in a fetal position in bed. What sleep I did get, however, just like at night, was restless, anxious, and fitful, and now I feel zombie like as I am trying to recoup some evening before going to bed for real in just a little while.
Continue reading “Everything But Hair”
Weight: 239 lbs. (!!)
I would be much more excited about the fact that not only did I lose weight rather than gain, but I’ve finally entered my “30s”, if only I weren’t so mad right now.
I have had a long and difficult day and only recently got home from work, scarfed down dinner, and set about trying to get in this post before getting to bed so I can probably do it all over again tomorrow. Then, I go to “call up” my site from the computer’s history, only to find that my beloved husband randomly decided to eliminate cookies in my absence, erasing all the computer’s history that I relay on for ready access to this and many other sites that I frequent daily.
Continue reading “Cookies of Every Kind”
Weight: 240 lbs. (!)
Today I arose happy that it was Saturday, and happier still that I had finally lost some weight. I was unhappy, however, that it was raining on my garage sale day!
Nonetheless, I figured that a few sprinkles never hurt anyone, and Tom and I were out the door a little later than usual but ready for whatever hearty souls might be set up on such a crummy day. The good news was that those who were had few customers and were eager to bargain. The bad news was, we spent a lot of time driving to nonexistent sales and following signs to nowhere.
Continue reading “I Thought I Was Gonna Die!”
Weight: 242 lbs.
Despite the fact that I barely ate yesterday, I remain at a dead stall weight-wise. I realize that I also must not have gotten in either enough protein or water, and basically didn’t feel well enough either emotionally or physically to care about any of it.
Fortunately, today is a new day and, despite a throbbing and lingering headache, I am mostly feeling and doing better. Tom and I talked out our “issues” last night and readily moved on. I had wierd, funky, stress-related dreams all night that lingered as if real, all day, and could barely peel myself out of bed in the morning, but otherwise I am moving on in a better way.
Continue reading “I’m Off to See the Surgeon”
Weight: 242.5 lbs.
Today was a Groundhog Day repeat of a recent Saturday, maybe even last, in which I was stupid enough to get so hungry and thirsty while marathon garage-sale-ing, that I then overate and drank at a pizza buffet soon after.
Once again, I had mistakenly believed that the 24-ounce decaf I brought along would sustain me for what turned out to be five hours of schlubbing through town and buying people’s castoffs. Unfortunately, the coffee lasted only about three hours, leaving me dehydrated and starving yet too dumb and determined to fit in more sales to stop anywhere for a drink or a bite. Plus, Tom and I were on a great roll, and I hated to break the momentum.
Continue reading “Déjà Vu All Over Again”
Weight: 244 lbs.
Tonight for dinner I ate a delicious portabella mushroom and garlic burger with tomato slices and mustard and a slice of cheese on a piece of whole wheat bread. Tom and I had experiemented and purchased a 10-pack of fresh Veggie Patch “burgers” at BJ’s for $10.29, and they appealed to me as they are listed as only 150 calories each with 15 grams of protein. Although a little carby (10 grams), they seem healthier and less fattening even than the very low fat hamburger meat we had purchased the other day. Plus, they turned out to be tasty enough that even picky Tom liked them!
Continue reading “Urpee and Owie!”
Weight: 257 lbs.
Mercifully, I am off from work today and have had some time to tend to the many issues related to my medical care. First off, I called my Primary’s office and referenced the letter that I had received from “D” (quoted in its entirety in my 7/11 post). The very nice woman I reached knew immediately what I was talking about and was kind and patient. There was no sense of her being patronizing or rude, and I was so overjoyed to actually be listened to and seemingly understood that I nearly cried. She explained that at one point I had made an allusion to perhaps needing to transfer my services to an alternative doctor due to us having lost our insurance and that, as we hadn’t spoken since, Dr. “T” was hesitant to prescribe a controlled substance to me if I were no longer his patient. I told her that I hoped not to switch, but that cost was in fact of concern given the great number of bills that had been arriving lately. I said that I remained unsure for the long run, but hadn’t made any decisions about this presently. (In fact, I would be heartbroken to feel compelled to switch to someone who reduces his/her rate, as I like and trust Dr. “T” very much.)
Continue reading “Is the Doctor In??”
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February 10th, 2010 | 
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