Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 183.6 lbs.

I am teetering on the edge of insanity. Or so it feels. My head is so full of so much at home and at work, it has been keeping me up at night and stressing me in the day. I think that I have “signed” up for too many spring and summer events and projects, and I will need to be on my best game to pull them all off. I rather wish that they all came now, as at least I could mobilize today and get going. Instead, they are spread out and I can now only fuss and worry and lay groundwork, rather than do, and this is killing my mind.

I am referring to things like our big May garage sale, the cat clubs June garage sale, Tom’s mother’s memorial for which over 40 people are due back to our house for brunch afterwards, Pete’s annual show that a lot of friends want to come to this year and said they’d get back to me about, Tom’s sisters visit from Florida for a week in less than 2 weeks, our summer cottage rental, and later, trip to Iowa. Each activity takes organizing and planning for, including things like borrowing and setting up a large tent that a friend has offered us for the garage sale and memorial, keeping an accurate head count for all the activities, and doing tons of spring cleaning and prep work to make sure the place, and we, and our possessions (in the case of the sales) are ready. Plus on Monday I am having an antique dealer over to peruse our stuff, and need to dig more things out between now and then. And if he does buy a lot of it, this will leave more space in the garage for me to find ordinary things to sell on May 14th. So far, a half dozen friends are joining in, and I expect to hear back from more as well. If you are around, stop by as there will be lots of crap for the asking!!! And I need it all gone so there will be room in the garage for PEOPLE on the 27th (memorial day)!!!

But, the moral of the story is that between persistent job stress and all my home fussing, I am not handling everything as well as I’d like. I wish that I was one of those cool, collected people who could juggle a million responsibilities without anyone even knowing because I had such an outward calm about me. But, I am not. Truth be told, I become an anxious, fretting mess, and although I can accomplish a lot and usually keep everything striaght, engendering compliments from everyone about how organized I am and how well I pulled whatever off, my perfectionism tends to kill me on the inside, AND I can become ornery. Which is really a way of saying that although I am good at multi-tasking, I prefer to not be hit up with it and I do better with less on my plate.

It will be interesting to see how issues of eating and diet play out, especially as I get into even fuller swing. I am probably doomed unless I learn new ways quickly, of dealing with stress. And, so far, so bad!

My only hope is that March madness will somehow evolve into April sanity. I guess we’ll know tomorrow. And that May meltdown isn’t what follows!