|
|
Weight: 187.8 lbs.
The ME is Spice! She is so demandingly annoying and hyper I can’t stop laughing!
Oh, did I mention that the SPCA called yesterday and said that because she has a slight upper respiratory infection, they are holding off the spay until after a week of antibiotics. So, they asked if we could bring her home and “foster” her until then, and they will cover all interim meds and vet care, spay her, and then we will adopt her formally.
I didn’t blink an eye, and was thrilled for the extra day to have her. However, although we were going to keep her and Gingerbread separate at first to slowly acclimate them to one another anyway, now Spice is in downright quarantine as we can’t chance our other cat catching the crud from her. Clearly Gingerbread can tell that we are cheating on her and did hiss under the door once, but otherwise they are both living peaceably on different sides of a closed door.
The problem is that the only “spare” room with a door that we had for Spice, was this computer room. You know, where I do this blog from. And she is walking all over me and the keyboard as we speak, and I can see that this is going to be a long few weeks! With lots of typos!
She is such a loving and happy critter Tom and I can’t beleve how much we already love her. She is full of hysterical personality, and it feels good to laugh again about a kitty, as we used to enjoy this with Callie’s antics. I hope that Callie would approve of us giving a new little one a home….
Anyway, the other good thing about Spice, is that she has helped me lose a little weight already. Between her constant need for attention and my being relegated in the back room, far from the fridge to give it, I hardly had time to eat yesterday. And then last night we had our metal detecting meeting, and didn’t get home until late. I hadn’t had time for dinner beforehand, and it was too late to eat plus I wanted to say goodnight to Spice, after we got back.
Now this morning I have my annual mammo. so must head out soon for this. I plan to eat yesterday’s leftover chicken liver and onions as much as I can today and if there’s any left, tomorrow too. When I do eat, I am trying to load up on iron rich foods. I even bought liverwurst (yuk, sort of!) because I see how high this is in iron, and I can eat it on the go.
Speaking of which…. If only I can peel Spice off of me!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 188.6 lbs.
Ok, so the topsoil that we ordered came, and looks like a tiny mound of nothing. A size “A” bra cup full, not like the humongous size I used to wear and that we expected. We ordered a yard of it, the equivalent of which was said to be 60 50lb. bags or 6 wheelbarrows full. Are they kidding, or does it shrink down like cooked bacon and distribute itself in such a way that it becomes nothing when delivered?
So, now Tom has placed a call to the company that sent it, and will have to follow-up with a “dispute” on Monday. Or, we may simply be told that we have no ability to visualize what a yard should have looked like.
Sigh….
Then, as I recently discovered that I am doctorless, I had Tom call and see if his doctor would take me. And he was told “no”, as he is not accepting new patients. So, I called a doctor that a friend highly recommended, and was told that they too weren’t accepting new patients. (Or they have read my file, like on Seinfeld with Elaine, and won’t touch me with a ten foot pole!)
I was given another name to try, and will follow-up on Monday, but am getting a complex and feeling paranoid that no one wants anything to do with Tom or I. Like the chimney man who never came back or called and has left our chimney in its original state of disrepair, and us in the lurch. Should we be taking any of this personally?
Logically I know not, but it is hard not to feel a little wounded by the bad karma of it all lately.
But, then, while out garage saling yesterday, I asked a vendor if she happened to work at a doctors office, because she had the same distinctive, raspy voice of the woman I had just spoken to. She said no, but that her sister tending the table next to her did. And when I asked, sure enough it was her! (Aren’t my voice recognition skills amazing! LOL!) Anyway, she was very nice, and we discussed my doctor dilemna, and the tides turned when she not only thought of another doctor I might try who she highly recommended, but when she said that I could call her back on Monday if I failed, and she’d see what she could do.
Now isn’t that an amazing example of coincidence and karma rolled into one?!
Now tomorrow I have a mammogram scheduled, which is terrible timing as I am PMSing and the thought of it all is already making my teeth tingle. But, at least they are typically very nice there and treat me well and respectfully too…and right now, I’d let any body part be squeezed unmercifully just for the continued pleasure of encountering a competent, responsible, and caring professional! I need to be on a roll here to conquer the forces of “evil”!
And there is even more wonderful and happy news, and this is all about GOOD karma. And I’ve saved the best for last!
While still out yesterday, we ended up nearby the SPCA, and I asked Tom if we could just begin the search for another cat. Although Gingerbread is queen diva and will proably never speak to us again, we are both starting to heal and feel as if it is approaching time to give a new kitty a home.
So….even before we got past the front door, there was karma everywhere. It started with the sign saying that they have recently started waiving the adoption fees for cats over 1 year old, and that Fall apparently has brought new need for placements.
And then there she was! A scrawny, tiny, two year old stray calico with an annoying siamese type voice and small delicate oriental features. Demanding attention and as comical as any cat could be. She made us laugh and melt, and after visiting with her for nearly an hour (while our groceries rotted in the car!) in the special cat visiting room, Tom agreed that she was ours. The whole time we were in the room with her, she wouldn’t leave our sides even to explore or play or walk around on the catwalk that circumvented the whole room. We tried to place her near and on certain objects, stimulate her play response with a feather, and peel her off of us. To no avail! All she wanted was to scream for attention, cuddle, purr and walk all over us. She’s so incredibly annoying and needy and cloying, we both fell in love and had to have her!
Which could be the death of us both. I usually hate high maintainence anything so I am somewhat surprised by my maternal insticts here, but you can’t argue with predetermination!
We pick her up Monday as she must be spayed first, and the rest, I’m sure, will be history! It just feels right, I guess. My only real question now (besides, “are we crazy?!”) is whether to call her Spice, Amaretto or Tahini. Ideas, anyone?
And, lets hope that the goodness of positive karma outweighs the bad forces here, and our new little one brings us the joy and wonder that she already seems that shes going to. Regardless of whether people come through, or not!
Ah, and isn’t this the incredible gift of animals in the first place!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 188.0 lbs.
I happened to be trolling obesityhelp yesterday, when there was a posting by someone named “Y”, who I noticed had surgery where I did. What was especially interesting was not her post or any answers that she got, but what I found out when I clicked on her name to read more about her behind the scenes. And the only reason that I did this at all was because I wanted to see if she wrote anything about her experiences with the center that we both used.
What I saw, was that she lives just across the border in Canada, and posted her May, 2010 blood results for all to see. Clearly she had these drawn in Canada, as they were in different units than in the States. AND, most inportantly, they offered information on values, that I’ve never seen in any of my reports. Specifically, for ferritin, this is what it said: under 12 = iron defiecient; 12-30 = depleted iron stores, 31-79, reduced iron stores, and 80-300 = normal iron stores. “Y”’s were 29. I wonder if anyone told her what I am now learning! I hope that she has read my diatribe either here or on obesityhelp and sees herself and seeks further guidance, if she hasn’t already.
I had the great fortunate to talk directly with a highly regarded nutritionalist yesterday, and discuss at length this whole ferritin issue. And, just as I was suspecting and had read, my level of 14 is most certainly a harbinger of impending anemia, and that the fact that my other iron values increased, is actually further proof of this and NOT a good thing. She explained that they have to work harder to compensate (or something), and that this is further indication that I am heading towards trouble. Which she also said is not uncommon post gastric bypass, but that it should be tended to early on, if possible. And that no way should I do nothing or wait another year to retest, as was proposed by my center. She recommended that I have this lab drawn in 3 or 6 months instead.
I hung up with a 6 step action plan to try and raise my levels myself and to stay on top of things. This includes: 1) Doubling up on my Celebrate iron pills. 2) Ensuring that I am not taking these within two hours of anything calcium (not just calcium pills, like I had thought). She suggested that I take them just before bed for this reason, AND, that I also not take them within two hours of consuming any products with tannin (ie: coffee, tea, red wine). The later, I never knew or heard of before, and the former, I had been inadvertently lax about. Although I knew not to take them with a calcium PILL, I never thought about this being a problem with calcium rich foods, like cheese.
Also, she suggested that I try and raise my vitamin D level, as just as I also had read, my 33 is quite low (despite what reassurance I was again given by the center). So, I will add another D supplement. And, I will try and incorporate more iron rich foods (although she indicated that it is quite common for us to have trouble absorbing nutrients from these). I will also check back to celebrate.com for research based data that she will be writing and posting there as to blood values and other critical and cutting edge information that she agreed that many surgeons and bariatric centers aren’t even informed of.
So, today I finally feel as if I have developed an action plan that makes sense, empowers, and hopefully, helps keep me well and staves off the otherwise inevitable anemia. I shudder to think that had I not been “a pain in the ass”/difficult patient/nudge, that like possibly many, I would have gone home with no specific reports to reference, and a proud smile as to how well I was told that I was doing. This is one time when I don’t want to hear “you’re fine, don’t worry about it!”, then be treated like I’m difficult when I “question authority” or standard policy or practice regarding dissemination of blood work etc.
And, I truly hope that others who read here take similar heed, despite how ingrained it probably is in all of us to want to bow down to our doctors, believe good news, and roll with things so as to appear compliant and grateful.
The only real “oh, crap!” in all of this for me now though is, that now I know that I must have my blood drawn sooner than I hoped for! Valium, anyone?!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 188.5 lbs.
I am in a grumbly mood today, and believe that I am hormonal. Yesterday I was quite miserable as well, my skin crawled, I was edgy and irritated, and exhausted. Poor Janet came over last night, and between my tiredness, the wine she brought and the pizza we ordered and even I ate, I passed out on her. I actually fell fast asleep sitting next to her, and even before this, was probably lousy company. Physically, I feel way off balance again, and it is pathetic how feeling like crud causes you to relax your standards more, and do things that then make you feel like more crud. I am certain that pizza and wine are not on the list of approved post bariatric foods!
Then, last night I had wacko dreams all night, including one in which Callie returned, and I kept trying to get her to come to me and show herself in such a way that I was certain that it was her, and so that others could see her too. The psychiatrist from where I work was in the dream too, and I kept shouting to him that she was really there, right?! It was a poignant and frustrating and upsetting dream, and I assume also driven by raging hormones. Or the fact that I am insane!
Is it too late to come out a male?!
In other musings, the chimney repair man who we had contracted with a while ago, did finally come in the pouring rain yesterday, according to Tom who called me at work to tell me so. He left his son and another man behind to do the work, they supposedly sat in their van in the driveway for like a half hour, and then they left! Never told Tom if they’d be back, or what an alternative plan might be. Plus, before this they scoped out the chimney in the back yard, and then left the back gate wide open.
Needless to say we aren’t too thrilled with this company’s demeanor, and now wonder where this job is headed.
Then today, we are having a dump truck full of top soil delivered, just in time with when Tom’s brother-in-law needs our wheelbarrow, and Tom said that he could have it. So, last night I asked Janet to bring over hers to borrow…but it is small and less adequate for the big job ahead. This too should be fun! I said that I’d help, and we do need to race against the clock somewhat, but am not too sure physically if I will be up to it, especially with inadequate “tools.”
I am off today but have an oil change scheduled, plus plan to shop for things like chicken livers and spinach in my quest to boost my iron levels. Then tonight, Tom and I are signed up to attend a police bbq related to the Citizen’s Police Academy that Tom belongs to. Whatever topsoil hasn’t been successfully distributed by then, will have to wait until tomorrow, I guess. And this weekend we are busy with company and other gigs as well.
The other stressy and grumpo musing here, relates to my medical oversight. I got a message from my bariatric center that they had tried to fax my results to my primary, but that they had come back saying that I was no longer a patient there. They asked who my new primary doctor is.
The probalem is that I never knew that my doctor no longer considered me his patient! According to the center, his office said that I hadn’t been there is over 2 years! This is blatantly not so, as I had to see him just prior to my surgery, which would have been in March of 2009. Now granted, this is still a while ago, and I did realize that I have not been back since. On the other hand, I have not had cause to see him, either.
Now when I discharge people from my practice for any reason, I write them first to invite them to discuss this, “warn” them ahead of time, and only if I don’t hear back, terminate them. I am appalled that Dr. T has dropped me without me even knowing it, and now wonder how long I haven’t had a doctor for! What if I had had an emergency or something and had assumed that he was still my doctor?
It is too bad too, because although I found his office exceedingly rigid and his prices high (and he doesn’t discount for private pay, which is part of why I ONLY go when truly necessary, as our insurance no longer covers), I did like HIM. And, now my flailing trust in everything medical, is being that much more challenged. God, I am surely not one who is going to age gracefully! I’m sure I will progress to becoming the world’s most skeptical,distrustful, jaded and difficult patient ever!
Grumble!
Anyone know of a good doctor who would be willing to treat the likes of me?! I promise that I’ll at least wait until AFTER my period to go!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 188.2 lbs.
I am still in the process of seeking nutritional advice about my supposed (?) ferritin (iron) deficiemcy, and have been offered to be linked with a reputable member of the Celebrate team for guidance. And am very appreciative, as I continue to be confused by conflicting advice ranging from “your levels are great, don’t worry about it” to “OMG, you’ll be dead in a minute if you don’t run for iron infusions fast!”
Seeing as I’m still here and feeling relatively well and all, I’ll put my bets on the former comment, and buy time to continue my “research.”
In the mean time, I am cleaning out my old clothes with restored vigor, and discarding most plus sizes with a vengence. I finally feel completely divested in holding on to them, and may even be letting some go that could still give me some mileage.
But, I am sick of that frumpy, baggy look that others seem to see when I can’t, and am trying very hard to see myself through others eyes (and comments!) and wear more flattering items.
Which would be nice if I owned some!
I am actually doing something I typically wouldn’t (as I would donate), and that is trying to sell my old items. I have a full rack and then some tables full of clothes that are accumulating daily out in the garage, and because they are piling up so fast, I decided to place an ad and advertise them for sale as a huge lot. They are currently on craigslist, and come out in a free ad in the Bee today. There are well over a hundred items, and I have them listed as $60 for all. Mostly I hope to please some currently heavy woman or household, want them picked up, AND could use the money to purchase at least a few new items. Seriously, my closet is approaching bare!
In fact, I am very glad that it is dress-down day at work today (not that I don’t have my own personal dress-down thing most of the time anyway because I am a bum!), and I plan to wear one of my few remaining jeans. And although somewhat frumpy, at least they aren’t 3 sizes too big on me!
I’ll try to remember to post photos here soon so you can tell me what YOU think.
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 188.3 lbs.
OK. So, the appointment at my center went well on one account. The nurse and especially the woman who first ushered me in and took some history from me, were decent and nice. I liked the attitude and thoroughness of the first woman, and she even was kind enough to pop back in after tallying things, and tell me that I was like a pound away from being exactly “on track”. Basically this means that I fall into the 65% of body weight lost category, which apparently is the median. When I joked that I’d rather be like at 90%, she was nice enough to say that us short people have it so much harder both losing weight and dropping BMI wise. No one has ever said this out loud before, but I have secretly suspected it. And, whether it is so or not doesn’t matter…the point is that she was nice to take such time with me.
But, as to the rest, I was chagrined all over again that I couldn’t squeak my labs out of them even a second beforehand, despite trying. I had to even beg to be given them DURING the appointment, as all they kept saying was that “you’ll be given them to go home with.” I had to say that I am a visual learner (which is true) in order to get them while I was still with the nurse to read off of along with her, and then quickly try and formulate questions off of them while she ran through them at the speed of light. A few things jumped out at me, like a high B12 (1308, above the 200-1100 norm), and a high Vitamin E (22.0, above the 5.7-19.9 norm). For the former, she shrugged and guessed that this probably wasn’t a bad thing, and for the latter, she said that she didn’t really know, because they normally never check E levels and she didn’t really know much about them. I said that I’d look both up later.
But, I haven’t had time yet, and still must do this as clearly the blind is leading the blind here. But, I have bigger fish to fry, in seeing that my ferritin level came back at 14. The table says that 10-232 is ok. But, I did ask her about this, and she said that it was fine, as my overall iron levels are what matter more, or as a whole. My total iron is 92 (40-175), my TIBC is 428 (250 -m 450), and my saturation rate is 22 (15-50)
For some reason, perhaps due to someone’s post that I happened to read on obesityhelp.com, I didn’t buy what she said about my ferritin level. So, I looked it up…and am worried to see so many people who wrote that despite seemingly normal total iron levels, with ferritin levels not even as low as mine, they were or soon developed severe anemia. Many said that anything under 50 is heinous, and that one must take immediate corrective action and pursue further testing, as this was serious. Now I am all shook up, uncertain what to do or to believe, and how to proceed. I did write about this at obesityhelp for advice, and have gotten a lot of responses that I have had some time now to sort through and learn from. And, calm myself down with. Many advised about additional supplementation, switching lab sites and or doctors to have quicker access to my own reports, one wrote that with a similarily low ferritin level (and good iron levels otherwise) her doctor ordered an iron infusion, and one implied that I am every doctors nightmare and I am the reason that they don’t give labs out beforehand.
Basically, I am now doing what I wanted to do before the appointment, which is back pedaling, doing research, and asking questions of others in the bariatric community and on-line. I admit that I trust some more than I do my center, but I think that this is with good cause, and even if not and it is all perception, I can’t see anything wrong with self advocacy and widening my circle of support and information. And from this, I have now learned about several different types of iron supplementation and products (which was never discussed there), and foods and tricks and tips (including not waiting another whole year to have this lab rechecked, as I was advised at the center) to try and get my levels up myself and BEFORE I progress towards anemic.
My overall point here remains one of grappling with what is true, self advocacy, trust, and oversight. Another example is that as I also feared, my magnesium level was never drawn, as I was stupid to listen to the nurse when she told me that it didn’t have to be added seperately, as it was included in the standard blood draw. Although I had a gut feeling that this wasn’t so, by allowing myself to believe her, I now have no magnesium value to go by. When I mentioned this to today’s NP, she said “oh, well I can write an order for it as a separate lab now, if you’d like.” And although this may sound accomodating on one hand, it makes me that much more crazy as clearly no one has remembered my phobia and why I have had tried to be so on top of things in the first place.
Sigh….
But, in other lab related and good news, everything else looks good, and my liver enzymes are normal for like the first time ever (they were always elevated, likely from fatty liver), and my good cholestrol has come up to 66. My overall cholestrol is 167, LDL 87, and triglycerides, a mere 69! The only low value that I could see, is my vitamin D, which is at 33. Last draw, 4 months out of surgery (11 months ago), was at 43. And from what I have read, either of these numbers is technically low, although by definition 30-100 is acceptable. Although the NP disagreed that there is any concern at 33, I have heard and read enough to believe otherwise, and will try to supplement more to bring this number up on my own. Living in Buffalo, and with winter coming however, this may be hard! And to think that this level was drawn not too long after spending a week at a summer cottage and burning to a crisp everyday!
In any case, I feel as if I have been given an enormous homework assignment here, and have much to do to get on top of things more, look into some of the products suggested, and keep my own self healthy. Although many things I read found people feeling horrible and sluggish and highly symptomatic with low ferritin levels (despite other iron stores being high or ok), I am grateful that I FEEL fine, and can now mobilize the energy I do have to fight the good fight.
Fun, wow!!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 188.1 lbs.
How nice of me to lose even a little more, just in time for today’s doctor appointment and weigh-in. Mind you, I am still way behind the curve here, but at least I am on a roll and the 180’s does sound much better than the 190’s. I hope that the “doctor” is impressed, but I doubt it. I could probably be a size two, and they wouldn’t compliment me, given our adversarial history.
But, I am going to march off with an optimistic and positive attitude here, and maintain my composure, a dignified and polite manner, and keep my cool. In other words, grit my teeth and fake my way through the process! Where is Miss Manners when you need her!
So, tomorrow I will write as to the values I receive today, and how it all went. I’d do it tonight but I work late and know I won’t be in a bloggy mood when I get home probably exhausted and famished. But hopefully not upset and worried and vitamin deficient.
But, no matter what, I am up for the challenge and ready to face whatever realities I must. These likely will include lectures on my current lack of formal exercise, and still more leisurely diet than I should, especially given my tendency towards reactive hypoglycemia (I think, anyway).
God, come to think of it, between this tell all blog, all of the above, and my numerous face-offs with staff, I’d probably hate me too!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 188.7 lbs.
I am now officially back to the weight I was when I married Tom in 9/01!! Which is especially fitting, as our anniversary is next week. I wonder if my wedding dress fits…. I feel as if my weight has distributed differently however, so it probably doesn’t. I definitely have more flabby, hangy skin too. Although last time I weighed 188, it was also because I had lost 100 lbs. down to it while on the Atkins diet. So I must have been flubby then too, but I don’t recall.
Yesterday was a glorious day of nothingness, where I stayed in my nightgown all day long, and caught up on a hundred household projects and such. I have worked off Saturday’s stiffness and soreness, and feel well rested and empowered to continue on a journey of improvements. I’m not sure if its the fall like weather, ovewrcoming recent hurdles, a change in mentality or what, but I do feel that it is coming easier to me now, and that I am more motivated to follow decent basics and get back to losing weight. I was talking to a friend on the phone yesterday who mentioned feeling and doing similarily lately, and herself is not sure why either. But, she did buy mostly wholesome and healthy items on her recent shopping trip, and seemed to surprise even herself that the mood has struck her in such a way. And she isn’t even on a diet!
Lastly, I am nervously looking forward to tomorrow’s doctor visit and blood work results. I still hate that I feel as if I must play by the center’s rules, and am nervous as to how we will get along, but overall and with help from my obesityhelp “friends”, I have largely reconciled things enough that I should be able to find my way while there. And, as long as I can come home with my results and post here and on obesityhelp for feedback after the fact, I should be alright. But for now, I am VERY curious where I stand bloodwork wise, especially as I keep reading others post about grave deficiencies, ways that even their doctors didn’t pick up on too low of values, and the need for much more supplementing. So, I am going into this with my fingers tightly crossed!
But, other than this, I am feeling in so much better balance physically and emotionally, and now see that I CAN lose again, and feel empowered to do so. For a while I think that I felt caught up in a helpless cycle, probably in large part of my own doing, but one in which I couldn’t quite break out of. And now, I feel more prepared, more competent and more strong willed to forge forward. And maybe, the 80’s won’t last nearly as long as the 90’s did, and there is hope to meet my goal after all!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 189.4 lbs.
The good news is that all the incredibly hard and exhausting work of detecting yesterday, seems to have tipped the scales in my favor weight wise. I am FINALLY below the 190’s for the first time! And, I refused the pizza and donut offerings that were plentiful yesterday, and chewed on the peanut butter on whole wheat sandwich, an apple, and a few cheese sticks that I brought in a cooler for myself instead. We even left before the catered bbq dinner so I wouldn’t be tempted by the offerings of pulled pork, cornbread and slaws that the rest of the group was having.
The other good news is that I was in non stop motion from sun-up to sun down, including several very long beach walks where I collected my favorite beach glasses and stones between the three formal hunts. The event is held at Wendt beach in Derby, NY, where we are nicely located near the water, but also on historic land with woods and fields. Many people detected the general grounds between hunts, and found some neat old things. I tried this, and found nothing.
The hunts themselves were far off from where the shelter itself was set up, so just getting to the woods and then fields where the coins had been planted, required lots of walking. Then, on a “ready, set, go!”, about a hundred detetionists ran around probably looking very stupid, frantically sweeping the cordoned off areas for coins and tokens. Well, Tom and I must suck royally at it, because while others were digging up stuff galore, and yelling things out like “I’m up to 33!”, we found like two. All told, in all three hunts combined, we found 16 silver dimes (some Mercury), and one token that was redeemable for a silver 50 cent piece. And a cotter pin that used up much of my precious time when I dug to China on this hit. Others found WAY more than us, but in all fairness, have better equipment, including pinpointing probes and other stuff that aids in targeting buried objects. We’ve got the cheapest of all store bought detectors, and 2 others found at garage sales!
Oh well, I guess you get what you pay for, plus, we don’t detect enough to be nearly as fast or as skilled as our contemporaries.
Plus, OMG, the mere act of running around and bending and digging has left me so beat up and in pain and exhausted today, I feel as if I was run over by a semi. I suppose that I was stupid to have used all the free time between hunts to beach comb as well, as all the walking on sand and rocks has also added to my pain. I am walking like a 90 year old today, and if I knew what pain killer I could safely take, I would be!
Then, to add more “pain” to the equation, Hamburg slots, which recently remodeled, was on our route home, and didn’t we decide to take our weary selves there for “a look see” and some dinner.
Yeah, right!
Now we have been beat up by slot machines too, with Tom losing the money he brought in such record time that I had barely even settled into my first machine when he came begging for more. I might add that usually this is ME…but this doesn’t excuse the fact that at this point it should have been obvious enough that it was all a losing proposition, and we should have ran (hobbled!) for the door. But, of course we did not, and because of how tired I otherwise was, I sat, brain dead, in front of just two different machines the whole time we were there, and didn’t really even care what was happening to MY money. All I wanted was a nice place to sit.
Does it get any more pathetic than this?!
And, then, when Tom finally came around again and shook me out of my delerium, we realized that at 8:00 we hadn’t eaten in forever, and had better grab some food. As we weren’t feeling the love there, we decided to go to an old favorite restaurant next door. And ended up having a very late dinner.
Although I was famished when I began mine, I filled up incredibly quickly (kind of like I’ve always heard that post bariatric surgery people should, but rarely feel myself!), and took most of my chicken dish home.
And, the rest, weight and “ouch” wise, is history!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 190.2
Well, I’m sure that I both drank and ate too much at the benefit last night…but we did have a great time! I enjoyed the company of my friends Barb and Rick and Janet and Rose, as well as all my friends/colleagues. Because I had saved us all front row seats for the band and auction however, it was all so loud that we mostly had to converse through screams and sign language. Now I am hoarse, fatter, but happy.
Plus, I won one of the big prizes in the chinese auction, and am thrilled as it is Garmin Nuvi and Tom and I had just been thinking about getting a 2nd GPS so we have one for both cars. I feel so lucky to have won as it appeared as if a million people bought tickets, and clearly everyone seemed richer than me, as many of the paintings done by our consumers went for thousands of dollars. It was quite a well dressed and high powered crowd, but I didn’t feel as self conscious as I have in past years, as I no longer look nearly as fat and frumpy as I used to. Plus, Janet helped me dress better by digging deep into my existing inventory. When she first arrived to go with me, I was in a panic as I had discovered that nothing fit and I had practically nothing even remotely stylish or proper sized to wear. The clothes I shlep to work in wouldn’t do, and I realized that it is past time for a major shopping trip for decent and form fitting clothes. The problem is that I have no sense of taste whatsoever, so it would be a waste for me to go alone as I would probably come home with more mumu’s or 70’s items like with shoulder pads and stirrups or something.
Thankfully, today I can dress as messily as possible, as Tom and I are off super early for a whole day of metal detecting as it is our annual “hunt” today and tomorrow. I’m sure by evening I will be exhausted, filthy, sore and hopefully richer from finding at least a few of the buried silver and prize items that are there. And I am looking forward to the adventure and the satisfaction that this year I CAN participate fully as I am now able to bend and stoop and kneel and have the stamina for such a full day of physical activity. In past hunts, I was relatively useless, and either sat on the sidelines, or barely found a thing. I certainly hope and expect to do better this year.
And, speaking of which, I took my car for an inspection yesterday, and didn’t even bat an eye when they said that it would take a few hours, and I best not wait there. I simply turned around, and walked home! Not like miles away or anything, but a long enough distance that in the past I would have been stranded, as walking would not have been an option. What a great feeling of independence, self reliance and physicality such a simple act as being able to get oneself around by foot, can be. Who would have thought! Plus, when they called to say the car was done, I simply walked back for it. Sounds completely “duh” to someone who has never been so fat as to have not been able to walk such distances (or only barely) in the past, but is such a joy to those of us who live a life of so much more freedom and opportunity now.
And, this having been said…I’d better run as it is time to run off and dig, dig, dig!!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
|
|
September 20th, 2010 | 
Categories: 
Recent Comments