|
|
Weight: 186.5 lbs.
Yesterday when I came home from work and found Spice curled up behind the computer desk and unresponsive, my heart nearly stopped. She had been so good in the morning, I couldn’t imagine what had happened to her. Tom got home a few minutes later, and said that he thinks the treatments she received at the SPCA traumatized her, as she had been hiding out all day. She had even managed to crash trhough the barriers we had erected to try and keep her out of the corner, as she was that desperate to hide.
When she didn’t respond to me or come out on her own, we had no choice but to drag her out. However, once we did, she ate voraciously, snuggled and purred, and I was heartened to see that physically she seemed alright after all.
And, today she is a hellion - full of spunk and appetite and neediness…just like we like!! She still sounds a little congested, but not like the freight train that she had been sounding like.
We have decided to stop the SPCA treatments and maintain her care at home, and they agreed that this would be ok at this time. I hate to see her go without the nebulizing, but she is drinking and eating well here now, and at least doesn’t seem to need the hydrating.
Let’s hope our judgement about this is ok, and she can continue to recover without extraordinary care.
And then, as she recovers from this, we will have to be mindful that she still needs to be spayed when well enough….
Ack - one day at a time!
And, as to my diet, I ate eggs and cheese and chicken livers and onions and green beans and a yogurt and an apple yesterday That’s all, and pretty good eating if you ask me.
So, I guess I can manage myself and a little kitty all at the same time, if I try! Somewhat, anyway!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 186.3 lbs.
Spice might just be coming around, which of course means that we might be too! Although she sounds like a train she is so congested, she is starting to eat some on her own (with only a little coaxing), and is more purry and playful again.This morning she even greeted me at the door, ran up to me, and started rolling around on the floor for petting. Her voice still sounds like Brenda Vaccaro from Gunsmoke (do I have this one right?), all nasal and raspy, but at least she is energetic enough to be “speaking” again.
I no longer fear and dread what I will find when I open the door to the quarantine room, and am starting to look forward to our little visits together. She is happy to see me again, and I no longer feel guilty that when I come in, it is only to do distasteful things to her. And, the job of taking her for her daily treatments still falls on Tom, plus hopefully she may not need many more. In fact, my fingers are tightly crossed that after today, we may find that she can hydrate herself without the need for subcutaneous fluids.
But, either way, I must say that she doesn’t complain much, and has a wonderfully sweet and compliant nature. If it were me on the receiving end of daily needles and nebulizing, readers across the country would be hearing my screams!
Which reminds me (as Barb keeps doing!) that I must make time to care for myself too! And that having been said, I’m off to cook a healthy eggy breakfast and get on my way to work so I can earn money for more food and vitamins!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 186.5 lbs.
It remains sad and anxiety provoking at home, as Spice continues to struggle. She now can be heard wheezing and gurgling when she tries to breathe, and often has her mouth slightly open as her little nose seems perpetually plugged despite the nebulizer treatments the SPCA gives her, and the twice daily nose drops. I feel so helpless watching her suffer, and wonder just how long this will take to run its course. She returns to the SPCA for treatments again today, and Tom is on his own to bring her as I must return to work. I hate to admit it, but I am relieved that I don’t have to go with her, as it is a very traumatic place to go and wait. Yesterday while we sat and waited about an hour for her, a young man brought in his two 5 year old dogs, and was near tears through the whole process of relinquishing them. He sat next to us while he awaited their processing, and we struck up a sad conversation. He explained that he had recently divorced, and had to work long hours at a blue collar job, and the dogs he’d had since puppies now no longer got any time or attention from him. He refered to how he had agonized over what was best for them, and finally decided he must give them up for their own good. They had been raised since puppyhood together with him, and he was clearly heartbroken.
As were we just watching such a sad drama unfold.
And then, an elderly couple came in with 2 carriers full of adult cats. The woman cooed to them and spoke lovingly to them through the bars. She them began to weep, while the man chastised her for “making such a fuss” and “upsetting them even more.” He told her to stop her crying and “get over it!”, while clearly for some reason, she was being compelled to give all of them up. It was the saddest thing I have seen given her age, how the man treated her, and the sheer tragedy of what she was having to do.
And these are just two of the things that we experienced while waiting. I cannot imagine working at the SPCA, or having to witness such sadness often. The “normal” vets office is hard enough, but the SPCA clinic is truly heartbreaking.
This seems to be magnifying my concerns for Spice and where this is going. I was stupid then that after settling her in and running some errands, I thought that a little tv might relax and help me. I had taped a movie called “Hachi” about a dog raised by Richard Gere as a college professor who finds him as a puppy in a train station. It started out cute and innocuous enough. But, it turned out to be a true story of how when the master dies suddenly at work one day, Hachi, who was accustomed to greeting him at the train station every evening, goes to greet him as usual and can’t be coaxed away when his owner never returns. The movie depicts him waiting day and night and summer and winter, living off the generosity of towns people who know about him and his now deceased master. In fact, he never leaves, and dies while still waiting. In the final scene, Richard Gere , illuminated and angelic, returns to the dying Hachi, and they are reunited at last.
And I am still blubbering as I write this. Maybe or maybe not what the doctor ordered. But I must say that the chronic headache that I had harbored dissipated with my tears. Although my residual weepiness isn’t much better.
And as to taking proper care of myself, this continues to have fallen by the wayside. Although while out looking for lysine for Gingerbread and covering both people and pet stores in the process, I ended up at the health food store. I looked for good supplements for me while there (although I found none), but have a better sense of what is available should I decide to add more things to my regime in the future.
When I feel better enough to try and DO better too!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 186.3 lbs.
Little Spice was properly hydrated, nebulized, antibioticked and “fluffed up” while at the SPCA yesterday, and is due for more of the same today. She did seem to possibly be coming around..was a little less listless and sneezy, and wasn’t drooling profusely (except when I must shoot more nasal spray up her nose!) But, this morning she seems worse again and is back to sneezing more, drooling and sounds wheezy. She also is still refusing food.
We pray for the day when feel as if we can start to breathe a little again (her too, hopefully and no pun intended!), although I won’t be able to fully exhale until a long while from now when we can pretty safely be sure that Gingerbread didn’t catch the crud from her and we can open up the back room and let them mingle. First we will need to disinfect like crazy, as I have read that this virus can last a long time on surfaces, and she has surely drooled and/or sneezed over every square inch of surface, including into Tom’s closet full of church shoes (that I caught her sleeping in this morning).
Yesterday after we settled her from her treatments, Tom and I did manage to venture out for a few hours. We went to a byzantine festival at a local Orthodox church, and I won a few of the baskets in the chinese auction, which cheered me up a little. We also ate some Mediterranean and Ukrainian foods, and I figure I downed my share of carbs in the process. Interestingly my mood was quite dour going into it, but seemed to pick up considerably after some “sugar”. I still do wonder if my levels tank at times, or if I am bi-polar and don’t know it. I seem to have wild mood swings at times, and these even include feeling profound malaise and then well, sometimes within minutes. It is hard for me to tell if it is emotional or physical, or some combination. But I did go from unspeakably exhausted, achey and majorly grumpy, to talkative, cheerful and well feeling, just moments after eating a spinach pie and some of Tom’s rice pudding.
Weird!
Then, I came home to check on Spice, and decided to get on the computer which is segregated in the back room with her. I did some work behind the scenes here to clean up numerous “spam” messages, and saw one from Jeanne that I hadn’t noticed before. She commented back in August about low blood sugar, and I only now read it (and approved it for posting). (Thanks Jeanne, and sorry I never saw it sooner!) This does remind me though of the influence of low blood sugar levels, and I must continue to be mindful that I can and do apparenly tank at times, and the symptoms can be obvious or nebulous.
I am hoping that when Spice starts to (hopefully) recover and needs a little less vigilance, that I can resume some focus on steps necessary to maintain my own health…including ensuring that I am covering my bases as far as my iron and vitamin D levels go. So far I haven’t done as much as I had planned to try and boost these, and I’d like to make time to look into Vitalady or some other source for additional D supplementation, at least.
Especially as any sun that we managed to see in these parts is starting to wane as summer is fading…..
Whcih reminds me of many other things I had also hoped to do before the snow flies.
And maybe, just maybe, Spice will allow us to at least try!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 186.3 lbs.
I am exhausted and at wits end here, but have tried to call upon all my reserves to say that I/we can do this. The alternative, as explained by the SPCA, is unthinkable. They were clear yesterday that they cannot take Spice back and treat her there (despite her need for daily maintenence), as the enviroment is too crowded and toxic and she will likely do worse. Plus, they barely have the means themselves to provide for her. It sounded as if they may have to put her down, or, would nullify our pending adoption agreement if we said that we couldn’t nurse her through this ourselves. One staff that I talked to kept saying that such care was expected of their “foster parents”, and I rather resent this becasue we barely understood that we were fostering rather than adopting her, let alone that it might entail such extraordinary measures just to keep her alive. She spoke of our need to nebulize and hydrate her as if we actually know what this means.
But, the good news was that they have agreed to have us bring her there daily for treatments. Yesterday she was there for about 45 minutes as they gave her intravenous fluids, put her in a nebulizer chamber that forces moist air and vitamins and antibiotics into her, sprayed her up the nose with nasal spray, and gave her her daily dose of oral antibiotic. And got her to eat some. All this left for me later was to give her her second dose of nose spray (which I think went in her mouth instead!), try to coax her to eat, and comfort her. They said that if she won’t eat or drink I can try to push these thought a syringe in her mouth as I had the day before, but it wasn’t entirely necessary, as they will perofrm the same routine on her again tomorrow. Which is now today. And we had to cancel our morning brunch plans so we can take her back at 10:30 so they can do it all again. Tomorrow morning too. And every day after that as long as she still requires such extraordinary care.
Tom has commited to doing this for as long as it takes between his school bus shifts, and this is a huge relief. I will perform all in house care to the best of my ability. Last night after I medicated her and “forced” a little food in her with the syringe, she actually settled into my lap and purred some. Things like this make it all feel worthwhile. (Although this morning she is hiding and listless again and I can’t even get to her yet to give her her morning antibiotic).
And this is about all that our lives are now about. All day, every day. And now Spice and I have a few things in common. We are both sick (I feel like perpetual crap with a chronic headache, body aches, am listless and depressed), and I am too stressed to be hungry.
The latter of which for me, can’t be entirely a bad thing!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 186 lbs.
Most of yesterday was spent worrying about, tending to and dealing with Spice’s illness. After having to fish her out from behind the computer desk, I rushed her to the SPCA vet, where they hydrated her subcutaneously, force fed her, and checked her out. Although she was not running a temp., her upper respiratory infection clearly has gotten worse and has made her lethargic, dehydrated, and unwilling to eat. I will have to bring her back for more treatments tomorrow. It was a terrible and traumatic experience for probably both of us, as she cried pitifully enroute there, and I witnessed some horrific things (like a man bringing his recently deceased cat in in a plastic bag) while waiting for her.
All day after this was then spent in researching her illness both on line, and with numerous calls to both our vet, the SPCA, and friends who know about such things. Also, my supervisor who heard through the work grape-vine about her, offered to come over and teach me how to use a dropper to hydrate her orally at home. She spent about an hour hand feeding her fluids and some mushy food this way, and I then followed suit throughout the evening. Spice no longer purrs or responds to care or touch, but cooperates with treatment without much fuss. I am learning that this might be what is needed to keep her alive and heal her from this condition, as even the antibiotics prescribed for her don’t treat the underlying viral condition or the side effects that may arise from this. Hydration, nutrition, warmth and TLC are what she will likely need to help this resolve itself.
And she is due back at the vet again this morning for more hydration treatment. Hopefully they will also succeed in getting some food into her, as otherwise I will have to work that much harder through today to ensure she has adequate nutrition.
And I am spent and disheartened and traumatized and worried nearly beyond my tolerance already. I barely ate or drank at all, all day, and had the most severe migraine of my life that sent me to bed shortly after her early morning vet visit. I was so nauseous and in pain, dizzy and blinded by it, that I could barely function. And I still don’t feel well today. I think that it is at least partly due to anxiety and stress, and the revisiting of trauma over such a sick kitty. Watching Spice drool so profusely that she is perpetually sopping wet reminds me of Callie’s final weeks, and I can’t stand to feel this impotent again so soon after what we just went through. I am also very worried about infecting Gingerbread, and must have changed my clothes and washed myself a hundred times yesterday in hopes of keeping the highly contagious virus contained. But I am certain that this is virtually impossible, as there is sneeze and drool residue everywhere in her quarantine room, including on the carpet where we surely must be tracking it all over from walking on it.
Now, this has become our lifestyle once again, and the constant worry and vigilance leaves little room for much else, including any other plans we hoped for our anniversary weekend. Although on one hand this really doesn’t matter, on the other, it does, in the sense that it is very hard to know when things may improve and we can hope to sigh a sigh of relief that she is out of the woods and we can resume a somewhat normal lifestyle. And “normal” at best will mean constant vet follow up culminating in her being well enough to finally be spayed, thorough cleaning of her room and introduction only when she is well past communicable to our other cat, and constant vigilance through all of this.
IF she (and we) get through this acute stage, at all.
Somehow this hasn’t brought the joy and laughter and healing back into our world as we had hoped…. Please keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 189.2 lbs.
Spice is getting sicker and I am getting worried that it may no longer be an upper respiratory thing. She had been sneezy from day one, but we had hopes that the antibiotics would be kicking it out of her system by now. But, last night she was more sneezy than ever, and listless too. Tom had vacuumed her room, and I worried that this may have kicked up some dust or something.
But, this morning she is drooling, sneezier than ever, will barely come to me, and won’t eat. I am so worried and upset I can hardly write this. I will call the SPCA vet as I had been instructed, and see what they think should be done. I expect that they will have me bring her in, and perhaps they will find that she has another problem than just the URI. I am very scared!
Plus, I keep gaining weight, and “losing” money. We got several medical bills this week, but the worst came yesterday. It was for over $500 for my recent lab work. I almost had a coronary and called the insurance, and we talked for nearly an hour as a very patient rep. walked me through all the charges. I am especially upset at the timing, as today we are also getting our chimney done ($450), Tom’s car was a few hundred earlier this week and he needs another $700 more, I need tires for my car, and his life insurance policy was just paid for several hundred more.
Suddenly life seems to have gone from peachy to poopy, and I am unsettled and worried. Mostly though about Spice, as no amount of money can replace what we have recently found with her, and she just MUST recover! Please wish this along with us!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 188.9 lbs.
OK, so I finally got a few semi decent shots of our new little girl. The rest that both I and even Janet took were largely crap, as she has got to be the least photogenic cat on the planet and successfully evaded the camera most times we tried. Usually just when she looked her posed and cutest, too. But, at least you can get a little idea of what a charmer she is, although I am the first one to admit that she looks rather evil and not her playful, adorable self here.
Nonetheless, here goes:
Janet, who has a real camera and is the photographer amongst us, does plan to come back another day and try again, and also see if she can successfully upload some shots she has already taken. So far she was unable to as I guess that our card readers are incompatible with one another, or something. (How I manage to even have a blog is beyond me!)
And. lest this site begin to seem as if it is all about a kitty and not my bariatric journey, how about you try this on for size….. Tom and I went out to dinner for our anniversary to a Chinese buffet, and I ate too much and too poorly for the likes of my tummy, and clearly it shows in today’s weigh in. And the sodium in their food alone will proabably keep me bloated for weeks to come. I then had to drink like 9 gallons of fluids the rest of the night given how thirsty dinner made me, followed up by an evening snack of peanuts. Does it get any worse than this?!
Now it ended up more like a Fannyversary, and I will need some time to pee and work off such an indulgence. Clearly, what a stupid girl am I!
And to think that next year is our TENTH anniversary! If I’m not already back up to 300 lbs. by then, I probably will be after celebrating the occassion! Shouldn’t we just have stayed home and snuggled or something?
Sigh….
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 187.6 lbs.
I find it ironic that I have gotten down to my marriage weight just in time for our 9th anniversary! I went and tried on the funny, froggy shirt that I wore at our reception and had made special for the occassion, and it fit like a glove. I will have to take a pic of it and post here for all to see…. I may also see if my wedding dress itself fits, although I suppose it would if the shirt does. I think I still have the pair of size 16 jeans that went with the comical shirt, and if so, I’ll give them a try. If they fit, I’ll also have more current clothes to wear, as there is no point saving them for reminiscence, like we have our matching frog shirts. And I sure could use more current clothes!
Today my ad comes out in the local papaer advertising the last of my fat clothes for sale. I hope someday to have my size 18 and 16’s to add to the collection. I am moving rather slowly through the 80’s however, but at least I budged out of the 90’s. Yesterday I hardly ate, and forced myself to have some liverwurst for dinner (for the iron content, which I can feel leeching out as me as we speak!) Other than this, I ate little else, and then Debbie came over to meet Spice and I had 2 cups of coffee with her. Then, I had to call a long distance friend back who had just recently realized that Callie had died when she belatedly read it here, and offered her condolences. We ended up talking for like 2 hours, and well past my bedtime. I am rather grouchy and exhausted today, our anniversary, as a result. Between this and my period and my long day at work, isn’t Tom lucky?! Whoooopie! Bleccch…!
Too bad it didn’t fall on the weekend or something where there might be some hope for us to enjoy and celebrate. We may force ourselves to go to dinner tonight, but frankly I suspect we will do what we often do. Pretend that its this weekend, and live it up for the occassion then! Do I hear “ca-ching?!” Although poor Tom has defensive driving class from 1-7 all Saturday, and then we have our monthly brunch here on Sunday morning with the girls. I expect that we’ll run off afterwards…maybe…. If Spice will allow us to “neglect” her for a few straight minutes, that is. And, after all, she was supposed to be our anniversary gift to each other!
Squack!!!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
Weight: 187.4
Well now I know why I was pmsing all week. I’m not sure if the before or during is worse. And I had to have my boobs compressed into pancakes yesterday to boot! But at least I was told that I have “happy breasts” when it was all over!
I do love looking with the technician at the images when they review these with you at the end. Mine looked so much smaller since last years test. Still big mind you, but on their way down. Hopefully like the rest of me.
Speaking of which, I ended my day yesterday with some air popped popcorn and a glass of white wine. Not the snack of champions, but it did make me feel better on most accounts. Except for some nagging guilt about what a bad snack I had chosen.
And Spice continues to cheer me and make me laugh, including as I attempt to write this. She is so persistent in her desire for attention that it is both comical and annoying. In fact, she is like sucking my face as I write this, and making it very hard to get the words out. She squacks like a wounded pigeon, crawls all over me and the keyboard, and is in constant motion. I tried to take some good shots of her so I could post some here, but got a piece of her tail, a whisker, a paw, the carpet and a smudge…as she moves so fast and so constantly, I can’t focus. Plus, she screams like a banshee if left for even a second so I can try and get up to get a better shot. Unfortunately, despite requests on the phone and behind the scenes for a picture, this may have to wait a few days or until she is sufficiently drugged or unconscious so I can have her be still for 2 consecutive seconds.
No wonder she is so skinny…and maybe I can learn a thing or two from her!
Send / Share / Tweet / Print This:
|
|
September 30th, 2010 | 
Categories: 
Recent Comments