Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 191.4 lbs.

I never thought that I’d say it, but I am glad that it is Tuesday! I am so glad that my bloodwork is over that I could puke!

So yesterday we left out early, with a hot compress on my arm shaped like a kitty cat (one of those microwaveable cat shaped neck snugglies), a bottle of flavored water, my contraband (valium) and my 2 scripts. I wasn’t sure when to take the valium so that it would peak at just the right time, but decided to take it enroute and keep my fingers crossed.

We arrived at a nearly empty Quest waiting room - a rarity for an early blood draw. But, there was no one tending the window either, despite our best efforts to announce our arrival and ensure that they knew that it was ME. Not that I am a narcissist who must have immediate attention or anything, but typically when Tom scopes a place out for me beforehand, one of the criteria is that the staff can be flexible to the best of their ability, and take me either before or after my set time, according to how groggy the pills are making me. Plus, I like to greet and remind them about my special “issues” beforehand.

But, there was no one to be found, and I was starting to get as woozy as a heroin addict. I learned that 2 valium is absolutely enough after all, possibly as I have lost weight, or as I absorb things differently now. (Just like a small glass of wine can floor me!)

Anyway, I was finally called back cold cocked, and the lady was not only as unfriendly and businesslike as could be, but was dismissive, aloof, and if I asked things, answered me as briefly as could be humanly possible. For instance, in an attempt to connect and engender some human emotion and awareness from her, I asked: “Do you deal with people with needle phobias here?” Her answer: “No”.

Not really what would serve to inspire and reassure me.

So, I did what any self respecting phobic who was feeling that much more vulnerable and anxious would do. (No, not leave, although I did think about it!)

I started crying in my draw chair. Then I asked quietly if I could go get my husband. For which her answer was a shrug, and an “I don’t care.”

Now usually I ask Tom to stay OUT, as he both is pummeled by me and this is unfair to him, and because in some wierd way he actually can make me feel MORE nervous.

But, this time I buried my head in his shirt while he rubbed my back and talked to me (seeing as I couldn’t get bland, rude draw lady to say a word or give a flying s***).

It turns out that another lady I was hardly aware of came in and actually was the one who did the draw, while apathy woman busied herself labeling tubes and such. I guess. Because I was busy sobbing quietly into Tom’s shirt, and missed the whole thing.

But, the punch line, is that I was stuck in the crook of my right arm once, they successfully drew several vials and my vein didn’t shut off or roll away as it often does, and with Tom’s rallies and cheers, I made it through. With just ONE hole and in about 10 minutes! A new record, I think!

Then when I tried to compliment and thank bland woman (the other one had already scooted and I was still unaware that she had anything to do with it), she was equally as yucky accepting compliments as she was in providing a supportive environment.

But, I guess I could have had Attila the Hun do me if it meant this degree of efficiency and success…and the moral of the story is that I’ll take competent over warm and fuzzy, if given the choice, from now on.

Besides, warm and fuzzy is what Tom is for!

And, in other good news, I lost back the pre-draw fluid bloat, and I can now think and see clearly into the new week to strengthen my resolve and do better, I hope. Callie is no longer suffering before us and we are starting to heal from losing her, my period and bloodwork are over, school and therefore Tom are about to resume, and hopefully, no more extraordinary events or stressors are on the horizon at the moment.

And for all this, I breathe a huge sigh of relief and take a better step forward for health and integrity sake.

And the next chapter is that of getting back the results…. But, no matter what, this should be easier than getting them out of me!