Necessary Mutilation

Weight” 191.2 lbs.

I don’t want to be, but I am. Looking ahead, that is. There is much to tend to.

Today I am heading into work as tomorrow I have clients packed into every minute, and I fear that if any administrative work, phone calls or paperwork has been left for me in my absence (which is hugely likely!), then there is no way that I will have time to get to it until like Friday, as I have a record number of clients to see each day this week. I’d rather ease myself back into reality more gently that face so much stress all at once tomorrow. Either way, I yearn to be retired and living a perpetual lake existence, right about now. Sigh….

The other main thing I must follow up on that is even more distasteful is my bloodwork. I still have heard nothing from my bariatric center, so will likely need to be proactive. It seems odd that the last time they ordered bloodwork for me was about my fourth month post surgery (I believe), and I am now approaching my 15th month, and no one has checked on me any further. They say that they send out these little postcard thingies that I wrote my address on during my last visit…and I thought, have been clear that they initiate all processes for follow up visits and testing. By my math however, I am way overdue for having heard from them. I do wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that we lost our insurance coverage, and I am now  private pay client there who is given a reduced rate as per their contract. Maybe somehow I am categorized differently or of less value or something. Whatever the case, I must admit that I have never felt the “love” with this center, and am not surprised that this is just one more thing with them.

So, I expect that this whole bloodwork process will be distasteful in every way, and especially the needle part! I do believe that I am (over)due to have many values checked and that probably many vials will have to be drawn. The other part I dread about this, is trying to squeeze some valium out of them. If you are a long time follower here or know me in other ways, you know what a nightmare this has been too.

And speaking of this, one of the pieces of mail that we came back to Saturday, was a $200 bill for my March, 2009 psychological for the surgery itself! The doctor’s office wrote that they had many unsuccessful attempts at collecting from my insurance (in the last year and a half?!), and now were billing me privately. I am shocked and dismayed, and now must try and figure out what went wrong and what to do about it. This is also especially insult to injury, as you may recall that I specifically used the bariatric psychologist recommended by my center due to it being covered…and the doctor was a complete, rude, disappointing jerk. I’m sure that I posted about my experience with him at the time, and I recall being very disheartened by his attitude and demeanor. I am NOT looking forward to grappling with his office and my (ex) insurance about this, but if I have to pay $200 for him, I think I will blow a gasket!!

Yuck…back to reality every which way!

The other area I must face and conquer, is that of my diet, exercise regime and weight. I haven’t yet wrapped my head around a better plan than the one I had before our trip, but do know that I have kept putting off getting more regimented or serious about things. Honestly, I don’t feel any more prepared to make changes just yet either, and want to ease back into other stressful realities first before I change everything up on myself all at once and shoot myself back into stress orbit all at once. I am rather freaked out enough already about work and bloodwork alone, thank you!

So…it is a time of sticking my toes back into the pool of reality, and trying to still hold onto the creamy, relaxed state I just came from.

Let’s see how long that lasts!