Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 194.0 lbs.

Seriously…what’s up?! I continue to grow and swell, and my joints and bones and hair hurts. My tummy too!

Am I in the midst of some funky flare-up, or am I on some fast track to gaining?

Is it even possible to gain this much weight in a few days? I am so discouraged!

Last night when I undressed for the evening around 7:00, I weighed myself, and I was 194.0 exactly. I typically lose up to 2 lbs. in the night. But, I ate a big slice of watermelon after this. If anyone here knows me from last summer, you know that I am the watermelon mama, and in season, I must have it. But, I don’t recall retaining it as I did yesterday. What gives? Is it all about carbs??

Here’s the entirity of what I ate yesterday: 2 scrambled eggs with a little milk and cheese, for breakfast.  Some cashews at my desk at work (which is my typical “lunch”) Then 2 slices of crispy (thin) crust Pizza Hut pizza with chicken, peppers, olives, onions and pineapple for topping, for dinner. (This is an abberation, as we nearly never have pizza…but Tom and I both had a hankering, and Pizza Hut has their $10 deal that a recent commercial so aptly sold us on.) Then, I had a hunk of watermelon that I ate with a spoon, and a handful of cheese nips mindlessly munched while on the phone with Janet. Normally we don’t even have such crap food in the house, but we had just shopped for snack items for an upcoming BBQ, and I was bad and bought a few boxes. This one may not make it until Saturday if I keep it up, and I remember all over again why we can’t even have such stuff in the house!

Now I realize that this isn’t a bariatric dieters dream menu, nor did I eat much protein or variety yesterday. And, I consumed more carbs and crap than even usual. But, my point for now, is that I don’t think that I ate enough calories to warrant such a big gain. Not yesterday, and not the days preceeding it which were similar in size, but minus the pizza and watermelon. Did I?! Am I in la la land, can’t add or compute calories correctly, awash in denial, or blind? Should I be beaten into better sense? Or, is there some other contributing factor? I mean, I’ve done MUCH worse at times in the past, and not gained this dramatically.

Plus I am all stiff and hurty today…I’m exhausted too. I wonder if I am getting something.

Or if I am just getting FAT(TER).

Ouch…it hurts to laugh. Or, more appropriately, cry!