Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 190.6 lbs.

Yippee, I continue to lose and feel as if I am back on the bariatric bandwagon. It has been a long time and I nearly forgot how nice it feels to see the scale slip downwards! Perhaps there is hope that I get to my marriage weight soon, or at least out of the damn “90’s” where I have been for ages. I know that I am feeling better about the process than I had been (maybe spewing here helped?), so I am more optimistic about my capabilities and this possibility than before too.

I am also thrilled to pieces to have pretty much of a blank slate for this coming, long, weekend, and have many things I want to do that indulge my need for balance and focus. I hope not to engage in the usual frantic pace that often pulls me by the nose and creates chaos, but instead, be the keeper of my time and energy and pace myself according to what I need and want to do that is healthy for my overall mentality, as well. This will include getting back to my workout routine, reading some books I bought on nutrition etc., and organizing my life in ways that can help me think when times get busier again. Like in two weeks when we run off on a week’s vacation to a cottage. There is also much to do to prepare for that, including shopping, packing, and planning.

Also today, I must call and see if the cpap place is open, although I doubt it given that it is a holiday weekend. If not, I am likely screwed until Tuesday, as Tom messed up my cpap to the degree that it is useless to use. I was quite upset yesterday, as I had asked him to call to see about adjusting my pressure downward, as it continues to blow out every orifice. I am convinced it is still set too high, and wish the doctor had allowed it at a “5″ in the first place rather than being conservative and keeping me higher. 

Anyway, yesterday I worked from early until nearly 6:00 pm, and called Tom twice in the morning to be sure that he called the cpap doctor to explain this and to reset it lower with their guidance.

And was not happy when I got home and discovered that he “forgot.”  Whcih would have meant that I had another several days to suffer through the wind tunnel. But he said that adjusting it was “easy” and he remembered how to do it from when they walked him through it recently, and he would do it w/o talking to them, no problem.

But you already know the punch line.

Needless to say, I now can’t use it at all, and spent a restless night trying to adjust to the quiet and bedroom air…two things I am no longer accustomed to. Tom said that I did snore a little, which likely means that I do still need it although at other times I am convinced that I really don’t. But either way, I am not thrilled at my lack of options, and do hope that they are open today so we can see if it can be readjusted. It is now on wierd jet power, and makes me look like a cartoon character whose whole face is blowing away, when I put the mask on. I think he set it to 112 or something!

Well, on that happy note, I am eager to start my exciting day off, and quickly before all this sleep deprivation catches up with me and I’ve gotta go take a nap!!