The Long And Winding Road

Weight: 193.3 lbs.

Well, its official! I am now 49 years old, which means that if I live until next year, I will be the big 5-0!

It has been quite a ride, and although I have made strides to reclaim my health and my life in this year between birthdays, I know that I have not done enough or all that I could have to be working my tool as successfully as I could be. Just the same, I have lost a decent amount of weight, and am living a much fuller life this birthday than last as a result. In a few weeks we are renting a cottage on the lake with a million steps down to the water, and I should actually be able to make it both ways and look forward to the challenge and to the opportunities to use my body even more. I never would have thought or talked last this a a few birthdays ago, and would have preferred a trip to the buffet over an outing to nature where exertion might be involved.

In fact, for my birthday, I am making “new me” resolutions (instead of new years…ha ha, get it?!) and I am resolving to move more and shake it up better in this coming year of my life. I am finding that my worst eating times are those in which I am vegetating in front of the tv after a long day at work. Usually I nibble and munch, and it is due to restless energy and anxiety, rather than true hunger. I need to channel these emotions into some form of evening activity from more walks with Tom to even putting a piece of equipment near the tv and using it while watching. Or, I am thinking that even an activity like arts or crafts or something while sitting, so at minimum I am not mindlessly eating. I am finding that I can do relatively good diet wise for a whole day, and then blow it on excess calories or some munchable crap, late at night. My birthday gift to me is to succeed at solving this issue through conscious effort and creativity.

Also, this is the year I must pay closer attention to the health aspects of this process. I still have not heard from my bariatric center as to any physicals or follow up or bloodwork I KNOW that I am (over)due for, and I need to be proactive about this. I have not had bloodwork since I believe my 4th month out, which makes a whole year of unknowns. And a critical year at that, as I have heard that deficiencies and problems can arise quickly, and should be monitored before they get too severe. I am clueless what any of my levels are, and must admit to some strange symptoms lately that do make me a tad concerned. Although my friend Barb has reassured me that my brillo like hair is likely a normal and even healthy manifestation of getting MORE vitamins in my system since surgery, I am not convinced. My hair seems to have grown back in a very odd manner, and I feel like I am sporting a fro. It is wirey and curly in ways it has never been, and I wonder if its coarse texture may indicate some thyroid issues or other systemic changes. Or, perhaps it is just that it has grown back thicker and differently, as others have also speculated. But, either way, I need to know.

Also, I had an odd and nebulous experience about a month ago that I didn’t think much of until it repeated itself a week or so ago. While out for lunch with some friends, we were talking and eating and suddenly, my lips and tongue when completely numb, as if some topical analgesic had been used on me. You know, that wierd novacaine type feeling where you feel as if you must talk with a lisp because your mouth isn’t working right. I was eating a chicken stir fry at the time, and wondered aloud if I might be allergic to the soy sauce or something. It lasted for about 5 or 10 minutes, and then went away on its own.

Until it happened again recently, and again while eating.

And then, a few days ago, I was on the computer late, when suddenly I was sweating buckets, so fuzzy headed that I could barely think or read the screen, and just felt ”wierd”. I felt as if my head was in vice grips, not because it hurt, but because there was an odd squeezing sensation that made me almost feel as if I was losing touch with reality and about to pass out. I was concerned that maybe my blood sugar had plummeted, so unsteadily worked my way to the kitchen and found some pretzels to munch. My mouth felt numb like before, as well. But, after a few minutes, I did recover fully, and went to bed no worse for the wear. Albeit, drenched in sweat.

I do wonder, given my new advanced age, if these are peri menopausal symptoms or related to hormones in some way. Or, not. They are nebulous and inconsistent and almost too imperceptable to mention (which is why I haven’t until now), but if I add them up, possibly diagnostic of some underlying issue.

So, if I hope to live and live well, I do know that I must commit to taking better care of myself in these more golden years.

Now that I am approaching senior status and all!  Or, at least it feels like it!  God, how did I get so old and where have I been all my life?!

Related posts:

1. The Long And Winding Road Weight: 19
2. Hitting the Road Running Weight: 24
3. Looking Forward Weight
4. My Name Is BroadinBuffalo And I Am An Addict Weight: 19
5. Asleep At The Wheel Weight: 21