Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 193.3 lbs.

Well, not shockingly, my weight went up, and my money went down. Too bad it didn’t go the other way! But, that would have required discipline or self determination or something more than the “throw caution to the wind” mentality that staying over at a casino creates and we bought into.

But, let me highlight some of the many highs and lows…including the trip there. From hell! About 45 minutes in, as Tom and I are enjoying banter while Iwas driving (already frustrated because he got us lost while still in our hometown!), he tells me that we need to take “the 219 south”…which we passed many miles earlier. I told him that he never mentioned that we took this route and that we are well beyond it and that he told me numerous times before we left that he knew just how to get there. And that due to this, we left the GPS (and about a hundred maps) home! The short version, is that despite his attempts to reassure me that he knew alternate routes and back roads, he really didn’t, and we got hopelessly lost in farm country, with no one but horses to even ask directions from for miles around. Which may have been lovely and bucolic and relaxing, except that it wasn’t. We fussed and argued and agreed that this was not a fun way to start our trip out, and that we were driving through cow country without a clue. And I think I have watched too many Deliverence type movies, because I had the creeps the whole time and imagined our lifeless bodies being discovered with buckshot holes and bite marks, weeks later.

The short version is that of course we eventually got there (thanks to several people out cutting their lawns and such!), and that it was all ok eventually. And that we were ultimately no worse off for it all and may have even saved a few dollars given the time we lost.

And, when we did finally check into our room, we had been upgraded to, and I quote, “a penthouse suite.”  Seriously! Compliments of the casino and likely due to the hell we went through booking the room in the first place. But that’s a whole different story!

Anyway, the room(s) were extraordinary, and we had  2 bathrooms, a bar, a living room and a large bedroom with a jacuzzi built in. It overlooked the Allegany forest, and was beautiful. And one of my fondest memories of this mini vacation will surely be the luxurious bath I took in it in the early morning. I didn’t let Tom join me though as I am still too embarassed by my weight and looks, including how saggy and baggy I look in the light of day (and without bubble bath to have hidden me underwater!) He slept in while I enjoyed the rest of the suite as well, including the coffee set up and complimentary newspapers.

Ahhh…the grandeur of a gambling junket where everything is “free” (as in we could have bought the whole joint if only we never gambled there in the first place!)

Oh, and the buffet where we ate our lunch was yummy - and I ate mostly good proteins, like shrimp and baked chicken. Although admittedly I messed up on the cream soup of the day (extraordinary!), and a few bites of dessert.

Then later at night and after nearly passing out from hunger and exhaustion, we ate at the 24 hour diner on the 2nd floor. They are quaint and cozy and have great food that I even remembered from last trip. I ordered the french onion soup and the cobb salad, stupidly thinking I could eat as much as all this given how starving I was at the time. Well, I did eat much of the soup and a few forkfuls of the salad, and took the rest back to the room as we also had a fridge in it. It was the best cobb salad I have every seen or eaten - with several types of lettuce and bacon and avacado and cherry tomatoes and slabs of turkey and ham and cheddar cheese and swiss. Presented like art work on a huge plate, and enough for an army.

I ate some of the rest of it for breakfast while Tom had a danish and the rest of his chicken finger salad in the room, while looking out at our beautiful view. What a treat! And a nice way to be indulged for my bithday! A few days early!

Some other highs relate to how many fun things there were to play on the state of the art floor. Although lows related to this are how many fun things there were to play, and how this adds up monetarily when one is there for as many hours as we were. Tom had the fortune or misfortune to sit next to a woman who won $10, 500 on a 2 cent machine of the the same type that he was playing. It can be nice to see somone win such a huge progressive…but hard too, when it is the neighboring machine to your cold one! And you have already lost your whole wardrobe to the house edge!

The better news is that I hit a streak on my favorite type of quarter machine (the Bonus Times) and got back some of our losses, which allowed us to feel a little less like losers in the final equation.

Although mucho discipline will be necessary to make up for the hedonism of this birthday gambling and eating wise…and truth be told, it isn’t even quite my birhtday yet!

God, at this rate, I will be busted and fat(ter!) as I enter my 49th year…Happy F…ing birthday to me! God…when will I learn!

On the other hand, who wants to be a saint…especially on their birthday!?