Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 194.6 lbs.

Yesterday was my sleep doctor appointment, and although I resented having to go, I am glad that I did. She took my vitals (and my BP was 128/89 I believe…I’ll hafta look into this as it is higher than it reads when I take it at home and I am nice and low). I also weighed 196 fully clothed on her high tech scale. We discussed my weight loss and since I have not been there since September, I am down a decent amount and she wants to do another titration study on me to see if my pressures needs to be adjusted downwards again. I will borrow the machine when it comes in in a few weeks, and use it as it reads my levels for a week, and theoretically it will register where I am now at, O2 wise etc.

Then, we discussed my having another sleep study, and this was scheduled for next February, with the assumption and hope that I will have lost more by then, and they can reevaluate more accurately whether I still have apnea, and if so, to what degree. This will serve as a goal point for me and a date to shoot for that hopefully motivates me to do my best to lose between now and then. I desperately want to beat this apnea, and although she was clear that for many weight alone does not cause it, I still am optimistic that if slim enough, I may no longer need a machine to breathe.

As to whether I needed one on my way up weight wise, she said that she is sure that I did have apnea way earlier than when I was diagnosed, and that this just wasn’t known or caught until it got severe. Geez…I wonder how many years I may have had it for and never knew, and if this contributed to some other health issues I had.

Well, at least I feel on top of this all and in good hands now. Given the importance of this, I didn’t mind doling out the cash for it. However, it sure gets hard when doctor appointments pile up over here, and nothing is covered anymore. I do worry some about the cost for my upcoming bloodwork, as the bariatric nurse already told me that the panel is super expensive as it is very comprehensive. I am not sure whether, or to what degree our insurance will cover it, as they said on the phone that they needed to know the exact breakdown of what will be ordered, in order to speculate.

In other unrelated news, I spent hours on the phone last night catching up with friends, starting with my ill friend’s sister who updated me on her rather dire condition. We plan to visit her in the hospital this evening, and remain very worried about her. Then, I talked with Barb and got all caught up and then some, only to hear immediately after, from our metal detecting and garage sale friends, Joe and Kathy. They want to take us to dinner for all the help we gave this weekend, and we talked for hours before making plans to get together one day next week. All the while, Tom was snoring away from the bedroom. And once again, I didn’t get in until later than I meant to. And am tired this morning likely as a result.

Hopefully today will be a relatively uneventful day, although I am anxious about my friend. I guess we’ll also just have to wait for the weekend to kick back the way we need to, with down time that is truly DOWN. I need to get back in the exercise routine, and must admit that I haven’t even gone to the basement other than to do the laundry. I hate to start if I can’t recommit to a daily routine, so I have put it off until I am in still calmer space. But hopefully come the end of this week, I will feel less rushed and distracted and pressured by life, and can make this a priority once again. No doubt it will also help with balance and stress releive, which I continue to strive for and need.

One of these days….