Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 196.4 lbs.

It is very early and I am unspeakably tired. I got so far behind after just one day back to work, that I am stressing out already, and feel like I have to head in at the crack of dawn today to try and catch up. I am in charge of several administrative tasks including the census, QA of daily notes and monthly stats, and a month end report. All of this is also due now on top of my own caseload stuff, and I am overwhelmed by how much I must get done before the week is out.

Also, today is my final social skills group session, and I had hoped to send the cleints out with a bang. They are all very excited in part because they voted on having a pizza party for their send-off, and I am in charge of the ordering. I am not looking forward to this, and I haven’t had a chance to make up their mementoes yet. I like to give each person a heartfelt and handmade card identifying my memories of them and their contribution to group…but must admit that this will likely be less heartfelt and more rushed this year, as I haven’t had time to even start them yet.

In addition to work stress, I talked into lateness last night with some struggling friends, and feel quite worried for them and for what they are going through. I feel rather impotent to be helpful as some of their difficulties can’t be talked or supported away, but I can try to find time and energy to be supportive. Unfortunately I worry about having enough of both during my busy times, and feel somewhat overwhelmed by trying to juggle so much at once. And weekends are little solace, as we have many plans, including some overlapping ones this Saturday that I am also starting to fret about.

So the fresh clean feeling following the big sell off has already begun to wear off, and is replaced by the stressed, overwrought feeling of the daily grind. And perhaps the fact that I am still physically and emotionally exhausted from the weekend blur, isn’t helping any.

Needless to say, I have not yet resumed my morning workout, despite the stress relief this may afford. I am just too weary and rushed feeling to add anything else in at the moment. As soon as I have showered and had a bite, I will run to work to try and get stuff done before the onslaught of new clients.

I am at least back to better eating, and had a relatively carb limited day yesterday, although actually ate too little at work, as I had no time. I did have the usual eggs, cheese stick, yogurt, then leftover broiled haddock for dinner…nothing elaborate or exotic. I finally feel as if the craving for snacks is subsiding, and my appetite has dropped back to typical rather than the “even your arms look tasty to me” that I experienced during peak stress and excitement of the sale days.

My task now is to strive for better emotional balance so I am not so overwrought by daily doings and can make time to work out, relax, visit with poor Tom who can’t get a word in edgewise, and just coast a little.

Maybe tomorrow…?!