Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 198.4 lbs.

Well, I am more on track physically and emotionally now, and found myself pretty “normal” energyand concentration  wise yesterday. I tackled a lot of things I had neglected all week, including laundry, the garage, my morning exercise routine and organization. Tom and I even went to a few garage sales and enjoyed the nice weather, which in itself was invigorating and heatening. We did argue and fuss at each other while working side by side in the garage most of the afternoon, however, and I am reminded once again that this whole project is hardly worth it and that I must never consider such a project ever again! And I am certain that Tom will second this motion!

But, things are finally looking way up as far as having pulled stuff together goes, both garage sale and focus wise. I ate much better and more moderately yesterday, with guilt and caution as my reminder that I must do better. The recent you tube video that Debra had suggested in which the virtues of doing good are highlighted, also inspired me and reminded me that it sure does feel better at day end to be able to reflect on having done well, than to feel weighed down (no pun intended!) by remorse from another blown day.

So, why the grim title for today? Well, despite things going better on this end, I have an eye over my shoulder on the lives of two close friends who seem to be going through their own difficulties right now. In fact, our a.m. brunch at Pete’s has been cancelled as one friend’s mother has just been hospitalized and is in the CCU, and the other is herself in great and chronic pain with something she is convinced is cancer. She has been visiting specialists and having tests, with more to come this week. Her condition and belief that what she has is serious, is quite concerning, and I am sad and worried for both friends now. By comparison, Tom and I are actually doing better now.

I guess that we can only control the small slice of life that is ours to manage, and at times may find ourselves subject to forces and problems far bigger than us. For now, I will remain as true to my mission for taking personal care as best I can…and hope that this too allows me energy and resiliency to help my friends and be available for others who are not able to be as fortunate. And, as the old saying goes, we truly can’t help others unless we help ourselves…and this,at least,  I CAN do.