Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 199.8 lbs.

I am in hormonal hell again. Even my hair hurts. I feel grumpy and overwhelmed, and although I am somewhat justified in both as there is much to do and I am stressed for good cause, the degree in which I am feeling this is clearly a manifestation of more than just whatever I have on my plate. And both figuratively and tangibly, it has been more than usual lately. And there are carbs on it!

 I have had insufferable munchies lately, which I think relate more to my degree of agitation and restlessness, than hunger. But, just the same, I am feeling off balance, and did give in to urges to overindulge yesterday. I actually had 2 bowls of popcorn for evening snack…with spray butter and hot sauce. And high sodium soup before this, nuts earlier, and leftover ham. I tend to wierdly crave salts and spicy foods about now, and I expect that these are the worst combo of things I should be having when I am most prone to bloat and pain, as well. So, this morning, here I sit with cramps and misery, with leftover hot sauce in my belly, salt and pre-period bloat, and a scale that’s gone up in response to both my hormones and my stupidity.

I wish I were born with a different configuration of chromosones! (As in MALE!)

So, today is already gearing up to be a lovely day. Don’t you wish you were here too?! Blechhhh….

I’ve gotta meet with my supervisors at work today and hope for all of our sakes that they don’t actually expect anything from me, look at me cross eyed, or say “boo.” I’ve got so much to catch up on both at work and at home, especially now as a friend who is doing the garage sale with us, has insisted that we start it on Friday (April 30th) as this is a more prolific sales day and she doesn’t want to lug all of her stuff (and her tent) over for just Saturday and Sunday. Although she is right, I now have to contact the 15 people who are also joining in, and let them know that I moved it up a day, so they too have the option to join in. Plus, I too have to be sure to take that Friday off, and be available to help her and her husband set their tent up a week or two ahead so that they can begin to bring stuff over in advance. It is a huge circus like tent, and if I recall correctly from the last time, it takes quite an effort to put up, AND, overtakes much of our yard (or driveway) and will be quite an intrusion for the duration that it is there.

So, between this and the fact that we are switching cable companies on Monday (which means a new e-mail system and the removal of my current DVR’s full of shows I need to find time to watch, first!), I am approaching overload. We have our usual social and play “obligations” this weekend, but I must clear time to actually get more done.

Or, at least to wallow in my pain and misery….

So, if you read here seeking lightness and joy, to see me losing weight easily and quickly and being a diligent dieter, to bask in my positive attitude or to be refreshed and inspired…may I suggest that today at least, you switch to melting mama or someone else who clearly isn’t me! Arghhhh…!