Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 198.7 lbs.

I should have seen it coming. I have looked forward to this long weekend, the nice weather, the opportunities for play and relaxation, for a long time. These are usually the ingredients for me to let my dietary hair down, if you know what I mean. And, I did. We went to the casino, and I heartily enjoyed the (pre) Easter buffet…a little too much. If you know what I mean. I started out all good on shrimp and chicken and stuff, but ended up on sugar free cake (when I am really good, I won’t eat any desserts at all) and bites of totally forbidden things, like chinese foods. I also ate way too much and past satiety, just like in olden days.

And, as if this weren’t bad enough, after we came home and probably because I was whipped into a hunger and eating frenzy, I nibbled all evening. On cheez-its (that I had bought for the consumers in my social skills group!), nuts and whatever crossed my path. You know…that nervous munchy energy that is part hunger and moreso the munchies. And nothing that should be indulged.

Blechhh! And now I feel yucky and regretful and bloated, and although by my old standards I didn’t gain that much (yet!), I did lose a sense of trust in myself to handle changes in routine and focus, and in being able to weather a holiday and its festivities, successfully. And yesterday wasn’t even Easter yet. TODAY is! Echhh…I’m screwed!

In fact, since we went to the casino a day early and indulged then, we are now left without distinct Easter plans. Originally we were to go there today so that we could eat out on actual Easter, and turned down other invites for this purpose. Now all we have is a slab of ham we cut from the one that we gave our friends, and some canned veggies. Which we may or may not eat…depending on how weak our will is once again. because we are already talking about enjoying a second day of hedonism and forbidden pleasures (ie: going back to the casino for losing, part two!), despite our better judgement. After church and our visit to Kris at the psych. center, of course. Good still comes first, ha ha!

But, no matter how you slice it, it is clear that we both need will power, heavenly guidance, fortitude, structure and perhaps an intervention. Clearly, the true messages of Easter are lost on us…and we need all the help we can get, lost souls that we are. Echhh…so this is our Easter revelation. May you be better and be blessed with all that is good and healthy! And stay away from the casino!