Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 201.4 lbs.

…it will just be a distant memory that it took me like 9 years to get down into the hundreds. One of these days, I will look back at this and laugh. And one of these days, I will no longer care that I kept creeping UP instead of down, in these critical weeks and days, while following a strict diet and doing the best I know how.

One of these days I will also probably have been driven insane with frustration, and will have to resort to doing this blog from the psych. center!

Sigh.

Perhaps it was the peanuts I had last evening while watching a movie with company. I felt justified as I was quite hungry, and as I had eaten so little during the day. I had my usual eggy breakfast, a slice of cheese for lunch, and some chicken and beef souvlaki for dinner. While out much of the day, I did get overly hungry, and realized that I was dumb to have forgotten to bring some kind of a snack item to span the many hours that we were away from home. We ended up walking away from the chinese auction that we were at, and heading about 10 brisk blocks over to where Tom’s sister lives in Kenmore. It was a beautiful day out, and we had decided that rather than wait the few hours for the auction calling, that we’d take some time out to visit Joan and Ron, and then walk back a few hours later for the calling. We kept a good pace and I was slightly winded both directions, but it felt great, and was a good substitute for the workout I couldn’t fit in in the morning. All told, it took us about 45 minutes to get there and back. And while visiting, Ron gave us both a slice of cheese (the only Atkins friendly item I could have), which sort of tided me over until dinner, albeit barely.

So…between the walking workout and the moderate eating, I figured I MUST be on a roll and surely could afford some evening nuts. But, perhaps not…given what the scale now says. And yes, I am starting to feel snarky and deprived about all this! And am unconvinced about the whole sodium thing….although yes, yes, I know,the nuts have salt.

Today I think I will bring some of my many leftover salads to the charity benefit we are spending the day at, so as not to get too hungry once again, and be tempted by the many food items I recall them to have at these things. We will be there for several straight hours, and I can’t afford to get all trapped and starving like I stupidly did yesterday. Even Tom got so hungry that he bought bad snack stuff like Fritos, at the auction.

I guess the moral of the story must be something about fortitude, stick-with-it-ness, and patience. And, perhaps continuing to keep an eye on what foods or habits cause retention or stalls or whatever, and to try even harder the next day. If I weren’t so addicted to nuts, I’d try to give them up altogether for at least a week or so, and see what happens. Maybe I can do this at least for today….

And in the mean time, finding the silver lining of weighing just slightly over 200 lbs., can’t hurt either. The anticipation and excitement alone, of being so near to a whole new category of numbers, should keep the juices flowing and the going interesting! Whoopie!