Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 200.6 lbs.

Aghhh…I am still hovering above the 200 lb. mark. Now, I am very eager and excited to get under it, and pray not to do the hover thing at such a time. I did eat very minimally yesterday as I felt like crap, so am actually a little surprised to have not dropped, and to have gone up a wee bit instead. It would be quite cruel if this continued at such a moment, and although technically it means little in the big scheme of things, I think most people could relate to what being UNDER 200 can represent, especially given the run that this all has been.

My next goal after that will be to be under whatever Tom is at the time (195?), and then to my marriage weight of 188. After that, 182 sticks in my mind, as this is what I weighed after losing 100 lbs. on Atkins 10 years ago, and is possibly the lowest weight I have been at since my 20’s. Now that I am back on track, I do see these numbers as possibilities, whereas before, they were starting to feel unachievable. Having goals like these is helping me to stay focused as well, and they aren’t such low numbers that they also seem too far off and possibly lower than where I can hope to be this millenium. I can’t say for sure, but I remain unconvinced that I will ever be a 130 pounder. We’ll have to see, won’t we. At least I am starting to make up a little for some big lost time, and am now comfortably over the 100 lb. loss mark.

I do wonder if I have any bariatric advantage left. Barb asked me this same question over the weekend, and I am not sure if I know the answer. At 10.5 months out, other than my stomach being smaller than the average Joe, is there anything else left to having had roux-en-Y that may help me to lose any faster or easier than anyone else on the same diet?? I also wonder how some people seem to lose well into their second post-op year, while others seem “done” much sooner. Is this a factor of how much someone has already lost towards goal, compliance, or that some have more “advantage” left, than others (ie:malabsorbtion). I am suddenly feeling rather confused about the concepts and breakdown of what helps make bariatric surgery work above and beyond what a diet may afford.

And speaking of diet, I stuck with a shake, leftover chicken souvlaki, chicken soup minus the noodles (Healthy Choice brand), and an avocado, yesterday. Although I had hoped to sit around moaning yesterday, our computer woes meant that I had to mobilize myself to shop around for replacements in the afternoon, with Tom, and spend much of the morning working with Kevin (while Tom was at church), diagnosing and fixing technical issues. You know…stuff I hate so much that I’d rather stick pins in my eyeballs than deal with. This, plus my period, truly made me lose my appetite.

Today is already looking like it may be a repeat of yesterday in every miserable way. I hafta take my car to get the snow tires off, then Tom and I have several computer and non computer related errands to run. Then, I have a “date” to talk with the lady from Verizon Fios, where we are thinking of switching our service to from Time Warner. I have already logged like 50 phone and research hours into this switch, and hate that you have to have like a PhD to know how to get the best “bundle” deal for internet, phone and cable. And, just when it appeared that we were in the homestretch, I read the fine print that Fios is not compatible with computers loaded with Windows XP - 64 bit…which is exactly what Tom has. I have no idea what a “bit” is, nor do I care, but on top of the glitches he has, this is likely gonna be the deal breaker that compels us to replace his system and create more electronic chaos in the short term.

Joy.

So…if I sound grumpy and my blogs get shorter for a while, it may relate. In short, it seems that I need not just a bariatric mentor, but an electronic one as well!!