Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 203.7 lbs.

I am chagrined to have gone up a little more in wieght, and continue to hope that it is a factor of “timing.” I got home from work after 7:30 last night, and ate a late dinner, and wonder too if the stress of this lately combined with odd hours and habits of eating as I try to fit things in both during and after long work days, is effecting me.

Yesterday I saw 9 clients, including a very “animated” family, took two crises phone calls including one that involved a suicidal young man, met with my boss in the evening regarding all my new responsibilities, and waded through weeks of paperwork. And I am more behind in everything today than when I began early yesterday morning. Needless to say, I merely had time to chew a cheesestick here, eat a diet yogurt and grab a handful of cashews, there. All told, I ate only these three things in an 11 hour workday, along with several cups of herbal tea, vitamin water type drinks, and decaf. Before I left, I sucked down two scrambled eggs mixed with some chesse.

When I got home after 7:30, spent and near ready for bed instead of dinner, I had Tom’s leftover bowl of tuna mixed with diet mayo. And a few sips of leftover pea soup. Just before bed (at 10:00, which is late for me these days, but if any earlier, I wouldn’t have had time enough to eat and take my vitamins in the required 2 hours of spacing between them), I drank two scoops of strawberry protein powder mixed in strawberry crystal light.

That’s it for the day. And I gained…?!

I sure hope it’s my miserable pre-”M” state of being wreaking further havoc! I am ready to move on with this, but I’ve noticed that as I’ve aged, this process has become more insufferable, elongated, taxing and horrible. At this point, I welcome the hot and cold flashes of menopause! (Alright, don’t make me eat these words if I am still blogging into my 50’s and complain of them at that time!)

In any event, I am off soon to do “it” all over again, although I hope to be home for a normal timed dinner, and have more options today as a result.

It sure is hard to be as good or focused with this new schedule and stressors, but I will keep trying to find my balance, and hope to do better in all ways anyway, perhaps next week without the added “fun” of raging hormones. In the mean time, I’ll try to watch my weight resume its hoveriness with as much of a grain of salt as I can muster….

 Sigh.