More Than Just A Test Of My Pouch!

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

Weight: 207.6 lbs.

This is the first day in ages that I actually awoke and looked forward to weighing myself. I just knew that I had lost - although given how often I had to literally run off and pee yesterday, I expect that most of this is water weight.

And, I did survive my first foodless day, although I have to wonder whether chewing off my nails counts for anything. By mid- day I was quite hungry, and had I recently borne live young, I’m sure that I would have eaten them.

But, I was quite disciplined and stuck to so many shakes, crystal lights and just a wee bit of broth, that I managed to quell some of my appetite by evening, and not attack Tom when he ate dinner in front of me at 6:00. Although he merely had leftovers, my head still told me that they were superior to shakes, and it took some will power not to wrestle them from his pudgy hands.

Do i sound ornery? I am feeling a little peckish…wish I could report that I’ve been miraculously transformed into a satisfied, carb free, losing wonder full of sweetness and light, but I was trained to never tell a lie. Hence, I must admit that I am feeling rather deprived and sorry for myself, and somewhat surprised by this as I had expected it to be easier and my attitude to be better. God, this makes me wonder all over again how people, especially food addicts, go on doctor mandated pre-surgical diets at all. Consisting mostly of these damned shakes, mind you! If this describes you, you now have my undying respect and admiration for every minute you succeed at such a task!

Sigh…one more day of this stage to go, and it should bring me to even newer and more exciting revelations when I do this during todays long work day. Hopefully I won’t fantasize about food during actual counseling sessions, or imagine myself nibbling on whatever poor souls have the misfortunate of having me as their counselor today.

But, the heartening news is that the losing has begun, and there are now just 4 days left to go before I supposedly no longer care about food as I clearly now do.

…something about absence making the heart grow fonder, I think.

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