Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 210.4 lbs.

I am so happy that it is the weekend that I could puke!

Yesterday I left for work at 7:15 am and got home after 5:00. And ate only a small handful of desk cashews in the time in between. I had actually brought a tuna sandwich and an apple with me, but forgot all about having them and due to the crazy pace of my day, left them sit on my desk, neglected and rotting, before I discovered them again after 5:00. Interestingly, although I was aware of feeling weak and messed up during the mid afternoon, I don’t recall feeling typical hunger. I did comment to my supervisor who I was working side by side with much of the afternoon, that I had “better take a minute to eat something” and offered her some nuts too (which skinny her, declined). I had just minutes to stuff them in my face while writing notes, before resuming the ever growing and overwhelming amount of census type work that has been asked of me.

While enroute home however, I did tear in to the sandwich, eating a good half while driving. This is very unusual for me as I hate when people do such things, and plus it was somewhat slippery out and I was trying to be extra cautious. Just the same, I knew that I had better eat, and couldn’t wait to get home for dinner.

Then, when I got home, I spewed about my day to poor Tom which held up any thoughts of dinner for both of us. When we did finally get to it, we grabbed what was easy - some chicken cutlets and some frozen peas. Whoopie! I had 2 cutlets listed at 140 calotries each (yes, they were breaded!), a slice of high fiber whole wheat bread, and a serving of peas.

No comment of the balance or health of choices lately. Calorie wise, I’ve got to be running in the decent range.

I am looking forward to a clean slate next week, and hope to find time on Sunday to plan out my pouch test strategy. Today is a wash as we are heading out early (4:00) with friends for Bingo, dinner, and slots, and up til then, we have many errands etc. to run. I feel some degree of pressure to keep the pace, and as I need some “head” time and time to wade thru things like the weeks mail, our taxes that still need mailing out, and other everyday crap, I am rather looking forward to post brunch time tomorrow so I can think straight. Does anyone else get confused and fuzzy headed in the face of physical and emotional clutter, and just need a good day or so to reset the balance? Between my many tasks at work and at home, I am feeling way confused, disorganized, stressed and attention deficit disorder like. I really don’t know how anyone manages daily life in this century, work AND kids. Thank god I only have cats…mostly for their sakes!

So, tending to ME and my dietary needs is nearly more than I can process at the moment - but hope to be ready and “armed” by Monday. I’d like to say that this is all second nature, and perhaps it should be by now, but clearly it is not, and it still requires forethought and planning on my part. Any advice or ideas to support this are welcome here!