Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 210.2 lbs.

I’ve been back to work exactly one day, and I am burnt back out already! I got home after 7:00 last night, weary and starving. And consumed the lion’s share of my days calories in a late dinner and even a later snack, before passing out in front of the tv. Not exactly the best of routines or a push for balance and health!

I started off with Tom’s great oatmeal for breakfast. He is off from school bus driving this week, and fussed over the oatmeal as he had time to spare. It had crushed nuts, flax seed, banana, skim milk and raisins in it. Very tasty and although carby too, healthy and full of fiber.

At work, I managed to scarf down a bite of this and a bit of that between clients and such. All told, I consumed a whole wheat tuna fish sandwich that I had brought intact and assumed I’d eat before it botulized at my desk; and later, an Atkins bar. I also drank coffee (half and half, mostly) liberally throughout the long work day to whet my whistle and stay alert. Not the best habit, but frankly I can’t imagine working at all without this option.

The real “damage” was done at home, where Tom, who had gotten bored and lonely while I was gone so long, met me with wagging tail at the door. Some would enjoy such a loving gesture and eat it up with a spoon. Me, as both an introvert and a hungry maniac, ran past him first to hide in the bathroom and debrief, and then to the fridge, to eat. Unfortunately for Tom, as a hungry introvert, these and not amore, were MY priorities! My poor husband has the misfortune of being married to a woman who has had to exert herself emotionally and in an extraverted manner all day, and is emotionally spent by evening and can only muster “mphffff” without the benefit of a restorative break alone, and food in my belly. And frankly, “mphffff” can sound more like “m***f***” if I am denied these!

So, I retreated to the bathroom with mail in hand, and practically did yoga on the toilet to find my balance again. Then, in my quest for a quick dinner, we decided that frozen turkey dogs were as good as it was gonna get, and Tom helped thaw and prepare these while I heated up some leftover frozen peas. These, combined with baby carrots and a few left over Greek olives, was dinner, and a shameful one at that. I think I need to either work less late, plan better beforehand and have something ready made or easy to prep., or teach Tom to cook!

Then, as I wasn’t really satisfied, perhaps as much emotionally as physically, with dinner, I went on to eat peanuts and an orange for “snack”. But, seeing as “snack” was only about an hour after dinner, I think it may have been more like dessert. Either way, it is surprising that I managed to lose weight, and I feel regret for my overeating and sloppy food choices. Not horrible, but not well thought out or great either. I even recognize how high the carb. content is in what I chose.

Mercifully, I don’t work so late today, and can plan and think my way through dinner better. We do have a lot of good frozen items that take a little longer to cook, but would be fine choices in a weekday pinch. Its also time to go shopping again, as otherwise, handy and fresh foods have run out and this is when we gravitate towards quick and junky foods.

So, my head is once again spinning with lists of every kind for here and work, and I best get on with things lest it explode. My mantra once again is that “today will be a better day,” and I have hope again that between my own free will and the fact that Tuesday is over, that there is hope for this to actually be so!