Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 211.8 lbs.

Ouch! I woke up today aching from head to toe and am not sure whether I slept funny or whether I am coming down with something. I am so stiff and hurty! Also, yesterday I got stuck at work until after 6:00 and had a wearisome, somewhat demoralizing day that left me having bad and anxiety related dreams all night, and the residual, icky feeling that comes from unfinished business, stress, and uncertainty.

I am also a little anxious as I am awaiting word from my supervisor as to whether today’s meeting, rescheduled from last Friday, is on or not. If it is, he told me yesterday that he can’t make it before 5:00! Who meets at 5:00 on a Friday?! The sad thing is that if it does get scrapped, I will not be allowed to go in this afternoon for the other things I had hoped to cover at work, as they are not reimbursable services and can’t be justified as stand alone events. Meaning that if I were there anyway or there for a meeting, then I could slip them in, but not if I am going in special for them.

So, I am hurting AND in limbo. Not my favorite states of being!

In more mundane news, I am at least hovering a little lower in my fatness! I do wonder if limiting how many nuts I inhale on a daily basis is helping, or if it is the natural progression of things. Or if I will gain back up again tomorrow as I often do, and all this wondering will be moot!

Yesterday I ate backwards, having a sliced turkey sandwich (on wrap) for breakfast and the leftover half for lunch, and scrambled eggs for dinner. I’m not sure why really, except that it felt right at the time. I also ate a banana, some peanuts in the shell, and  a low cal yogurt for snacks etc. All told, I didn’t eat a whole lot yesterday or the day before, so you would think that the scale might start to budge.

I also was recently asked about eating out by a friend, and realized in talking to her about this that Tom and I rarely do this anymore. For the first time in our marriage we eat out way less than in, and we just naturally and comfortably settle in at home for food prep each evening. Only when I think about it now, do I recall how unheard of this was before. Now, I actually find myself enjoying the prep. of simple dishes, and the time, money and energy saved overall by not going out nearly every day. You’d think that we’d now have way more disposable income by saving like $20 a day or something, but for some reason we feel none the richer, and can’t account for where all this savings might be going. To the grocery store, I suppose.

Well, I’d best sign off and face the basement beasts despite my achey, breaky body… and maybe this will get some kinks out and loosen me up. On the other hand, even exercise can’t heal my aching brain that’s still reeling from overload at work yesterday, and the possibility of more to come today. Although exercise may act as a stress relief in this way, for what ails my brain otherwise, I suspect there is no cure!