Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 213.4 lbs.

There’s good news, and there’s bad news. I’ll start with my personal “good.”

 I am in a better frame of mind as far as getting myself back on track goes, and I attribute some of this to hearing myself talk here (egads!), and to watching Dr.Mehmet Oz in an hour long documentary on health. He makes concepts of eating well and exercising so understandable and user friendly, and it motivates me to want to do the right things. I have his books and have peeked at them, but I have now made mental note to reread them in earnest. I had taped his show some time ago off of Discovery Health, and just got around to checking it out yesterday morning, shortly after I posted and while fussing for work. No pun intended, but I think that it was just what the doctor ordered. It got me in a better frame for the day ahead, and I did make better food choices and manage myself more successfully, as a result. In fact, I had good things like tuna on wheat, a pear, a diet cheese stick, a low fat turkey patty, steamed spinach, mixed cooked veggies, raw baby carrot sticks with a little dip, and pistachio nuts. Not all at once, of course, but for meals and snacks for the day. Oh, and a banana.

I feel healthier already!  Mentally, anyway!

But, I do really feel more motivated. Plus, Tom has been kicking up his exercise and trying to do better the last few days, and it feels good that we can try to be better together. Dr. Oz had a quote on his show that also spoke to me, and I will share it. He was speaking to to one individual who like myself, was struggling to get back on track and was grappling with self discipline. He said: “We look for motivation to act, but really, we must act to motivate.”

I like this one and will try to “wear it” for a while.

As to my more depressing news, I am the one elected to go do on-site grief counseling today, and I am apprehensive and sad in the face of this. I had to clear my afternoon counseling schedule so that I can travel to this group home where I am told that both staff and consumers are traumatized and bereaved by the sudden death of a woman who resided there. I did not know her, but heard that she was well loved, and that she died while at home and in front of a staff. As a counselor, I am being asked to offer support, guidance, wisdom (like there is any in the face of such tragedy!), and probably most importantly, an ear. I have been called to such duty before, including last year when another consumer passed away quite suddenly, and some time back when a van carrying several disabled consumers was hit on the thruway, and all plus the driver perished, leaving one of Aspire’s group homes suddenly absent many of its individuals. What a horrificly sad situation this was!

Anyway, I am not eager to repeat this experience, and no matter the topic, am never thrilled in front of “crowds” or groups of people. I plan to work out extra hard when I am done with writing this, for both stress relief (better than eating!), and to get some extra blood flow to my brain so I can maybe find something of comfort or help to say while there.

So, this is a snapshot of my life and coping skills….and I know that I must continue to work hard on the idea that its not what life gives you, but what you do with it, that counts most. Wish me luck!