God Rest Me, Weary Mental Woman

Saturday, December 19th, 2009

Weight: 215.6 lbs.

Me so tired! We had a thoroughly enjoyable and lovely time with Kay and Paul last night, but today as expected given the weeks stress, my period, and holiday toll, I just wanna crash! Plus, my diet being as it is can’t be helping any, especially since I have reintroduced old toxins into a relatively pure system and I think both my pouch and my system aren’t sure how to respond.

Last night I did join in for some wings, although was satisfied with just 3. They were of the xx hot variety, and today I am paying the gastrointestinal price! I also was pleased to see chili on the menu and thought it would be a good idea to order a large cup so I was less likely to eat the even worse stuff. But, like yikes…chili AND hot wings! Needless to say, I am a gastronomic nightmare today. Urp…!

I didn’t eat a single fry however, and in my past life, I would have walked miles for a Duff’s french fry! I also only munched on one carrot stick and one celery piece with blue cheese, and ate just half of a slice of the cheese cake awaiting us all back home. And before we went, as strategized, I purposely ate some lean turkey slices and a little cheese to dampen my appetite and get in my required protein. Although my appetite was still kicked right back up by the eu’ de chicken wings that permeates the whole neighborhood surrounding Duff’s and makes it so hard to resist grease once you get seated. And speaking of, for those unfamiliar with Buffalo eateries and wing joints, they had fliers throughout the restaurant noting that the Travel Channel is filming there (and at the Anchor Bar, another local wing joint) tomorrow (!), and that this episode should air early in the new year! So, Chris and others from places that aren’t here, you could see for yourselves what a Duffs is and just how tempting their food can be! Or not!

This may sound horrible to you purists, but for me, the fact that I used some restraint and only ate a little of such temptations, reperesents some degree of success for me and I am ok with this. My weight seems to be holding relatively steady as well, although I expect that I would stand a chance to be losing if I weren’t taking such liberties. I guess I’ll have to save the losing for later, and be glad for not gaining for now!

Now tonight, we are entertaining once again, and yesterday Tom and I ran around to several grocery stores to buy the items of choice for the pot luck. Of course, I shopped like I’d never heard of bariatric surgery and was expecting a herd of elephants over rather than just 3 friends. We spent nearly $100, and got 4 types of cold cuts and fancy breads for the sandwiches, toppings of all sorts including tomatoes made of cardboard as they are every winter in Buffalo. We also got the 14 slice flavored cheesecake to cover both nights of entertaining, a nut platter, shrimp, veggies and dips and assorted other crap. And Debbie, Janet and Pete are bringing more stuff too! Pete is down for homeade swedish meatballs, Janet for taco dip, and Debbie for fresh rolls and chips.

And I am excited like I would have been in the past when I could actually eat it all. I unfortunately still love being surrounded by food, and will surely nibble on bits of everything as in my pre-bariatric days. I expect that the only difference will be in the quantity I consume. At eight months out, this does represent a new degree of leniency on my part, as earlier out, I would not have probably allowed myself certain items at all. I am thinking that once holiday stress and temptations subside, that I will resume this stricter approach. I hope that it will come as naturally and I will be as able as I now think I can…. I would imagine that this dilemna replicates that of millions no matter what lifestyle or diet they subscribe to. You know, the “I’ll do better after the holidays” mantra.

I guess time will tell, and seeing as my life is an open book here in blog land, you too will know if I meant it and how or if I succeeded.

And for now, I am going to lay low until evening company arrives as I am pooped and poopy and can’t think of anything better for my weary body, spirit and mind right now, than some mindless tv, the newspaper, and perhaps even a nap! Halleliuah to that!

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