Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 217.4 lbs.

Ack - I’ve managed to gain back into the 217’s! Yesterday, while home hiding from the weather and feeling anxious and agitated, guess what I did a lot of?! I had terrible munchies all evening, and ate a hearty and hefty dinner too. All together, I had shrimp with cocktail sauce (on sale for $3.99 at Aldi’s - jumbo and tasty!!), a hot dog that Tom had made, some pretzel sticks, peanuts in the shell, some mixed veggies out of the bag, and half an apple. All within a few hours time frame!

I guess that this is what I do when I have too much time and agitated energy. I thought I was so hungry, but in retrospect, I was probably just messed up emotionally and in a grazy kind of mode as a result. I hope I have better control not to repeat this today, as it is already starting out to be wierd. The weather continued to go sour overnight, and although our agency is not closed, almost every school in WNY is, as are many other businesses. I have called some of my clients group homes to get a read on things, and all of my morning clients are calling off due to treacherous driving conditions. Some live in our southtowns, where it is even more trashed than east, where our agency is. I am north, and frankly, it doesn’t look that bad out over here to me, although admittedly I wouldn’t mind being off altogether. Tom is.

But, I will head in for my afternoon sessions, as it seems as if there is little likilihood for cancellations later, plus its always a good idea to go to work when one is scheduled! Not to mention that I am paid per diem!

I do have a few hours to play with now, and in addition to writing here, I plan to help Tom with the never ending task of writing out his Xmas cards.This is my punishment for being  nearly done with mine.

I already worked out and added 50 reps to the cardio glide. Nothing huge, but I figure that every little bit probably helps. I am figuring that after the holidays and when things slow down even more, I will add some new routines and machines to the mix. I feel that I am ready for this as I have now proven a commitment to daily workouts, and find that I actually enjoy it. Besides, if I keep eating like I do, I must do something to counteract the extra calories. Just think how fast I might be losing if I could master both diet and exercise  simultaneously!

Speaking of which, the other thing that I have had on my mind lately, relates to having watched the season finale of “Biggest Loser” the other night. Although I didn’t watch a single episode all season (tho. did tape the reunion episode and haven’t gotten to it yet), I was drawn to the finale out of a sick desire to see how much people managed to lose. And boy, was I blown away! It kills me that people could lose more than 200 lbs. in less months than I have lost 80, and without the benefit of surgery. It also kills me that they are clearly worked as hard as they are, and I am sure that I would have slapped Jillian into tomorrow if she were MY trainer.

I am amazed that people are capable of transforming themselves as much as they are, and couldn’t get over a few of the individuals in particular, who ended up so skinny, toned and gorgeous that they looked NOTHING like their former selves or as if they could ever have been chunky in the first place. One guy looked trim and handsome and said that no one recognized him. I can see why!

The other aspect that I find so incredible, is how firm and fit people seemed. The women had no discernable “bat wings” or flubber, and I can’t imagine how even exercising as they did eliminated this altogether. Aren’t those hangy arm things an expectable result of rapid weight loss, even if one exercises their arm every which way? Can this really be prevented? Is it possible that I could have prevented mine hanging down to my knees if only I knew and performed the right arm exercises from day one? And thighs and legs too? Why did even like 200 lb losers have skinny and trim looking legs, waists and thighs as if there is no excess skin hanging and sagging everywhere like so many of us gastric bypassers complain of and seek surgery to eliminate? Really - I need to understand this better. Is there still hope or am I destined to look like the incredible melting woman? (Hopefully this isn’t why Melting Mama calls herself this!)

Sigh…well, I’d better go take my melty self to the basement and either work out even harder, or give it up and help Tom with his task at hand. Or neither…!