Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 218.7 lbs.

Alright, I was a very bad girl, and my weight reflects this. Honestly, if it weren’t for this blog and my need to be honest here, I would have skipped weighing myself today as I was certain that the damage I did to my diet yesterday would have shown exactly as it did. And I didn’t want to face it!

So, for good or for bad, I have gained a whole pound and this time have no mysterious weight fairies to blame. What I can blame is the fact that I ate about as badly and much as I have at any other time I’ve admitted it here, and perhaps worse. I blame the dual addiction of gambling and eating on this fact, and know that if it weren’t for the fact that the casino whipped me into a hungry excited mess, I would have been able to exercise better self control and read my biological signals better.

Here’s the scoop. After a very good day of self discipline eating, exercising and getting things done, I was ready when Tom came home from work about 5:00 and we headed to Seneca Niagara for their “free” radio promotion. A little sniffley, I still worried about the toll of smoke on my sinuses, so once we got there, I tried to do much of my playing in the non-smoking areas.

First we ate at the Chairman’s lounge, and I had a bowl of their chicken soup, a smothered breast of chicken with ??? sauce on it, bites of a chicken cutlet with cheese (anyone noticing a poultry theme here?!), some cheeses and some sliced melons and grapes. Not horrible, but lots, and not great either. I chased this (after waiting a briefly requisite amount of time) with bottled water, and then a decaf on the floor later.

Then, we ran for the radio, and were pleasantly surprised to find both NO line for it, and to bump into some old friends. Then the fun began. And the winning. I was golden, and nearly every machine I touched literally threw money at me. After doing extremely well for hours on a quarter machine, I upped my bet to a 50 cent machine, and began doing even better. Then I won our only taxable jackpot this year, and had mixed feelings due to this having to now be reported come tax time, and the fact that we nearly avoided this dilemna by making it 11 whole months before this occurred. But, who am I to look $2,000 in the mouth?! And it was on a machine that I love but have never felt very optimistic about. When the lady came and paid me, she said that she had paid another woman $1500 on the same type of machine on the other side of the kiosk, just hours earlier, and that these ones pay off all the time. Whatever the track record, clearly I was there at the right time!

Long story short, I then parlayed this money into even more, including a $1,000 jackpot at another 50 cent machine down the way. If it weren’t for Tom doing as poorly as I was doing good, we’d be even richer today. But, what a joy, especially so near Christmas, to come home ahead as we did, albeit exhausted, smoky and FAT. What really killed any semblence of self control was all the winning, excitement and exhaustion that came with the evening. After a while, I was whipped into a strange state of confusing biological signals, and was sure that I was starving at 11:00 when Tom and I regrouped and considered going home. He said that he was hungry too, although at home of course, we would both already be in bed, and even if not, would never consider a second dinner at such a time. But, there, we returned to the lounge and had “dinner” part two, which for me consisted of a near repeat of part one, including another bowl of the very salty and noodley chicken soup. And crackers this time, plus a piece of cake and chocolate covered strawberry they had out for a festive look to their dessert table. And despite my better judgement, I ate it all, even the carbs. Dough, dough everywhere!

So, today, weary, bloated, bleary eyed but content, I will TRY to be better. We have scheduled to attend another benefit today at 2:00, but as this time we are going alone, I am reserving the right to change my mind about the need to do this, and fortunately, Tom neither cares nor even really has this on his radar. If we don’t go, we will likely have a mostly in day of Christmas decorating, card writing, fussing - which for me, would be just what the doctor ordered. Although I rather dread the elaborate process involved with these activities, for today, this actually sounds like heaven compared to another day contending with crowds, gambling, the snowy outdoors and mostly, temptations! Clearly, I can’t be trusted!