Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 218.9 lbs.

Last October I was hit broadside by a little old lady while driving my Honda CR-V. Her car imbedding itself into my driver door stopped my Honda dead in its tracks and totalled my vehicle. However, at the time of the crash, the engine did not die, but rather revved up in speed to a high whine, making me think that the car would explode if I didn’t figure out how to turn it off quickly enough. This was a difficult process as I was rather in shock and had to wrangle myself out of the squashed driver’s side, first. I was sure that the vehicle was going to go up in a fiery ball of fire at any moment as the engine only seemed to rev higher in moments before I managed to abort it.

This may be a bad analogy - but this is a lot like how I have been feeling lately. Today the alarm was set for 5 am so that we could get out for the early black Friday bargains - but I awoke with my engine speeding, at 4:00. This has been happening a lot to me lately, and although peppy, it is a rather discomforting feeling, tinged with anxiety and restless energy. I then feel as if I too will explode if I keep running on such high gear, and ultimately, I do burn out altogether and feel achey, exhausted and crummy for a while before it starts all over again. I have developed some insomnia lately in concert with this “agitation”, and don’t know whether to blame my nearly 50 year old hormones, weight loss or better heatlh for all this new found energy, bordering on mania.

I guess that today it served a purpose, as we managed to be in line at Office Depot around 5:30 am, AND succeeded in finding everything on our (my!) wish list there. I have purchased all the acoutrements for my laptop - although have not yet gotten the laptop itself. Believe it or not, the Office Depot experience turned out to be strangely pleasant, as first we ended up in line next to one of my favorite client’s fathers who I have known for years, and were able to catch up and share interesting conversation with. Then, in the store, the (hoardes of) customers themselves were strangely pleasant and helpful, with one even going so far as to find me in a huge line and present me with an upgraded version of a product that he had helped me to locate in the first place, explaining that he discovered that this one was at the same discounted price, but had a bonus in the package. I never would have known this myself! Just before this, I was similarily helped by other total strangers in locating other sales items even when there were only a few left and were on the verge of being sold out at any minute.

The other thing that I am hoping that my energy may be good for, is both seeing me through daily work outs AND continuing to lose weight even when eating too much, as I did yesterday. What a pleasant surprise today’s weigh in was, considering this. Let’s hope the scale can continue to be this forgiving! (Although for my part, I will try to not keep tempting fate as much, either!)

In other news, we will be heading to the casino soon, but I opted to write here first just in case we either win huge OR lose our shirts, and I am so distracted by this that I am unable to even blog later. Which scenario do you think is more likely?!

Now, I also hope not to lose my good energy rush while there, and fall asleep at a machine or something. I am already starting to deaccelerate and may need some coffee or something to even just make it there. Please wish us luck on all accounts, and if we survive all this fun, I’ll cue you in tomorrow.