Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 223.5 lbs.

Well, we headed off to the Makeover site at 9:00 am, and as instructed by the media, drove to the Marina and awaited a school bus to shuttle us along with about 8 million of our local friends, to the West Side.

We had anticipated possibly seeing the Powell family arrive in the early afternoon, and then making a bee- line out of there for a 2:00 Chinese Auction.

Are we stooopid, or what?! Once there, we were herded like cattle and were fortunate to land nearly smack across the street from the Makeover home, while those before and after us were similarily herded either beyond it or up to several blocks West of it. Although, as we discovered, it hardly mattered where we were, because unless you were Wilt Chamberlain or on stilts, or fortunate to have been in the front row, you could hardly see anything anyway.

Here’s a few shots of the crowds and “action.”

Although Buffalo is considered the city of good neighbors and the producer did come out with a loudspeaker and make a heartwarming speech about how we had the biggest and best turnout of anywhere and what not, what we experienced up close and personal was sadly not entirely like this. Smooshed as we were, stress, exhaustion and hunger brought out some tempers and rudeness amongst the throngs, and we had the misfortune of being in too close proximity with a verbally abusive mother who spent like 6 hours putting down and yelling at her 3 little ones for, well, being little ones. Now we could barely keep upright for the many hours of takes and retakes and waiting and trying to breathe amonst the smokers and the endless hours of claustrophia. To expect that small children could be 100% patient, who had little hope of seeing ANYTHING give their stature, and yet who had to suffer hours of boredom and stress with the likes of moody adults, should have been recognized as too tall an order by any healthy adult.

Sadly, these were our “neighbors” for hours. Also, although interesting and will forever change how I perceive the show hereafter, I must say that there is a lot of staging and acting that seems to go into the process. For instance, although left to fend for ourselves for hours on end with no word about much of anything, when we were needed to “scream” “move that bus”, even if only for rehearsal purposes, we were told when and how to. Repeatedly, we were even told things like the family was on its way, when in fact it was a “dummy” family instead - kind of like a test rehearsal for the real family who only arrived what seemed like hours later instead. As such, screams of “move that bus!” seemed to be yelled arbitrarily and repeatedly, rather than only when it was truly and finally time to do so, and limos came and went with no Powell’s in sight, as if to tease us all. Although admittedly, most of the time I wasn’t really sure WHAT was happening, except to say that the crowd would suddenly begin shouting something and everyone would start snapping pictures of who knew what, while shrimpy me was still trying to figure out who or what was happening and in which direction I should point the camera.

And then, even when I did, it was rather like dolphin or whale watching, where as soon as you finally point and shoot, the Ty dolphin or Michael whale has already resubmerged itself.

These pictures of mostly just mass crowds give a glimpse of this.

By the time (about 4:00!) it really was time to shout “move that bus!” and the Powell family had truly arrived, the crowd seemed to have swelled even more and the 2 square inches of viewing space that I may have had previously had vanished, and I hardly cared anymore anyway. Although “they” were good about distributing water bottles with decent frequency to the crowds, this was not true of food or lounge chairs, and I was so hungry and my hips and knees had frozen into place, and all I could think of was how awful it was likely going to be to try and beat my way through the crowds back to the like 2 busses that were going to be sent for the 50 million of us that had parked at the Marina. Not to mentioned that I had “lost” Tom hours earlier, along with the umbrella chair that we had brought for sitting emergencies. Actually, he and I both had one as I had bought a 2nd one at an estate sale yesterday in a moment of brilliant forethought. Unfortunately, what I hadn’t figured on was feeling even sorrier for even sorer people than myself, and the fact that between us we had lent both out and I for one, couldn’t bring myself to pull it out from under another’s bottom who was clearly suffering even more. Thank goodness I have lost weight, because some of those in clear misery were in fact now even heavier than me, and looked as if they may collapse any minute.

In fact, several people did, and quite frequently and all around us, we would hear cries of:”We need help here!” and even the paramedics would have to fight their way into the crowds to revive or resuscitate people who had succumbed to the exhaustion and heat (yes, heat, in Novemeber in Buffalo!) of it all. At one point I even considered “faking” it just to have an opportunity to be whisked away, as it became anxiety provokingly clear that once there, there was no escaping otherwise. So much for our auction (or eating or peeing for that matter!)

I’m sure you can see what I mean here:

By the time the deserving family arrived home, I was so ready to leave that I yelled into the crowd in the direction I had last seen Tom, that “I AM LEAVING, TOM!!! LET’S TRY TO GET TO THE BUS, QUICK!” I could only hope that he heard me, but clearly everyone else did, and snickered. I didn’t care if they laughed at me, as long as they too didn’t make a mad dash for OUR bus!

Long story short(er), there was a long line for the bus back, but it was lively and the busses came quickly. We met so many interesting people, including volunteers who told us stories about the insides of the house, the stars, the endless smorgasbord they were afforded, and their duties. I still regret that we hadn’t found some time to offer to the project, although admittedly for the “coolness” factor as much as for anything. And the food!

Speaking of which, we were both so exhausted and starving when we finally made it safely back to the car, that we decided to simply order pizza in the comfort of our own home. And, I must say, although I expect that the Powell’s were thrilled to pieces with their new place, I think that our appreciation for our humble abode probably trumped theirs when we were finally able to sit, eat and relax in the familiarity and peace of OUR comfy surroundings!

And, I don’t feel guilty one little bit this time, for the pizza I consumed!