Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 224.5 lbs.

It feels like its been days since I last posted, even though it was technically just yesterday! I guess that this is what happens when you post so darn early!

Today I figured I’d wait until something actually happened that I could write about - but as it has been an entirely boring and in home sort of day, that’s not gonna happen!

Last night however, Tom and I were very bad, and rather than just shop and eat at the big “C”, we also gambled. We hadn’t done this in a while, and even with the time in between, losing is still losing and it still sucks and hurts! Interestingly, I did show good will power at the lounge where we ate though - having only chicken soup (and as I always do, leaving the noodles), some rolled up turkey slices, and cheese. I can’t seem to rid myself of ALL addictions at once though, and if I do well in one area, I tend to go off the wagon in another as if to compensate. This includes gambling, garage saling and coffee drinking….but at least I’m not into alcohol or drugs (yet?!)

Seriously though, I do know about transfer addictions and its prevelence amongst those who have had gastric bypass and can no longer get as “high” from food - and must acknowledge that I have a very addictive personality and almost anything is fodder to fuel this. I think that I need to boost my serotonin levels somehow, or something, and it is not unlike me to find exhiliration in shopping, collecting, even hoarding (neatly and in an organized fashion, however!)

Today I had to fight with myself to NOT go to any more estate or garage sales and to use my energy at home actually tending to what we already own, instead. Once the early morning hours passed and it got too late to run out, I did do well and settled into some good cleaning, organizing and fussing - including laundry and clearing out some old drawers etc. I am also wading through old magazines that I have subscribed to and never read, and can’t bear to discard until I have. I just learned that Obama was elected president, there is a fiscal crises at hand, and we are at war with Iraq!

In addition to all the above, I did work out as now usual again today. I am up to 100 reps on the cardio glide machine, and two laps on the treadmill. I also “run” around on the ski machine and sometimes (not today) pedal til I can’t no more, on the recumbent bike. There is no real rhyme or reason to what I do, although most days I try to add in a few more minutes or reps over the days before. Today I was lazier than most, and was half hearted in my attempt.

So far food wise, I had scrambled eggs with 2 slices of cheese and some turkey slices for breakfast and the leftovers for lunch, and some cashews for snack. We are going out for dinner with Debbie for dinner, and fortunately she too likes Greek restaurants, as these are the most user friendly high protein and low carb. wise. Right now I am too full from the cashews to even imagine what I will order….

Well, I’m off to fold and put away the last laundry load and fuss some more until Debbie arrives. I expect to sleep better tonight as I did last night, and feel my overall energy level returning to “sane”…so hopefully I won’t be too wired for some nice catch-up chat with her and to enjoy a peaceful dinner out. We are in the midst of what seems to be an Indian summer, so I also look forward to heading outside for the first time today - and suppose that I should get out of the sweat bottoms and pajama top that I hadn’t yet seen fit to change out of! Yikes, I’d better go before she catches me like this!