Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 225 lbs.

It is before 7 am and I am off to a frenzied start! I didn’t go to bed until late, for me, and have now burst out of bed in anticipation of my long day ahead and all that I must do here and at work. Straight from work, I am meeting up with my friend Zoe for dinner nearby my job. We have so much to catch up on since we last talked alone, and I am looking forward to both her company, and the chicken souvlaki that I am already thinking I will choose to order! Given that I haven’t eaten out in some time now, this will be a nice treat from the boring, monotonous diet we have come to eat at home. I think a weekend shopping trip is in order, and I will try to focus more on variety, veggies and healthy choices that last. We tend to eat a lot of sliced meat and cheese (deli cuts), canned tuna and other quick prep. type items as neither of us is inclined towards cooking or fussing over food. However, this may leave us somewhat unbalanced nutritionally (thank god we both supplement!), with an overemphasis on proceesed items, bread (whole wheat)/sandwiches, and fruit, and an underemphasis on representation from all the food groups each meal, variety and balance. This may be better for me who focuses mostly on meeting my protein needs anyway, but poor Tom rarely gets a vegetable in and doesn’t even seem to notice or care.

I think we both need a personal chef!

As to my pervasive grumpies lately, I am feeling somewhat better today and in looking back, still worry some that going off Paxil may not have been the best idea. I am definitely moodier overall, quicker to temper, and seem to have almost bi-polar like highs and lows. Even rereading my old posts, I notice that I swing from near manic like energy at times, to feeling pessimistic, gloomy, irritable and down. My energy level too seems to plummet, and I get achey and blah. I guess that I’ll have to keep an eye on this…but truly hope I don’t need to resume any meds as I remain so pleased to no longer take ANY for any of my previous conditions. I would hate to have to resume psych. meds, in particular!

Today I am taking my first hiatus from working out - in part due to THIS (blogging before breakfast!), and as I have so much on my plate today that I have needed to hit the road running. Ha - no pun intended!

I do plan to resume tomorrow, and remain commited to this as part of my lifestyle. Honestly however, like with anything difficult or new, I can only commit to a day at a time, and do my best to remain diligent about this and other changes I am making or have made. Fingers crossed, thoughts focused, brain activated, willpower intact, Nike mentality mantra’d. Surgery just doesn’t make such things any easier, does it!?

In cool news, last night while feeling low, caller id showed a name Tom and I didn’t recognize on it. But when we picked up, it was a very long lost friend, Rose, who was calling after I had happened upon her newly deceased father’s estate sale a few weeks ago, and realizing that it was his house, left a note for her and her sister with the estate people to give to them. She said that she was shocked and happy to hear from us after over 20 years, and couldn’t get over how Tom and I had married since then, as Tom  was married to Karen (now deceased) and I was in my 20’s and quite single. We all had met through an Animal Rights Group that I was the head of, and back then, the 5 of us (Rose, her sister, Tom, Karen, and I) worked hard for the group, and became fast friends who even travelled together. We lost all touch in the early 80’s, in part because our lives went in seperate directions, but also as Rose became involved with an abusive man who we disliked and who she was not ready at the time, to hear anything bad about. Last night she revealed that we had been right about him and that she was sorry that she hadn’t listened to our concerns and had cut ties with us instead. She had gone on to marry him, and only recently left what turned out to be a terrifying and horrific marriage.

This was shocking and sad to hear, and we spent hours on the phone catching up about this and so many other things. It felt as if no time had passed since our early days, and there is no doubt that the 4 of us will get together soon and catch up even more. Rose is a kind, open minded, warm individual and we look forward to having her (and her sister) back in our lives. This is such a wierd and karmic thing that we have reconnected, especially given the circumstances of how. It kind of reminds me how Tom and I remet after so many years, and when we too were both “coming up from the ashes.” Life can be so cool this way, can’t it?!

Well, now I had really better run as I’ve got gobs to do to get to work on time. I can always post again later should some earth shattering thing happen, I lose more weight today (LOL), or to post what I did or didn’t eat….but for now, consider me signed off!  Have good days, all!