Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 228.5 lbs.

I remember weighing 222 lbs. It was probably 10 or even 15 years ago, and I was going to a workshop on Obesity, of all things. I have gone to dozens of workshops through the years on various subjects usually tied into my field as a mental health counselor, but this one, I believe, I signed up for on my own, and it was not covered by my job as so many others were. I believe that the agenda was on the psychological, biological and chemical underpinings of obesity, as well as theories and information about metabolism, dieting, appetite and other factors related to this epidemic. I can’t remember if bariatric surgery was covered, or if it was even “vogue” as it is today.

What I do recall, is feeling that I wasn’t really “fat” at 222, and that this subject was only somewhat about me. Kind of like an alcoholic going to an intervention and feeling that others, not he, has the problem. I don’t remember feeling self conscious or uncomfortable attending, but did feel awkward attending alone when so many others seemed to be with friends or colleagues. I think that I treated myself to lunch out during the break. Certainly, this would be like me, kind of like when I used to belong to overeaters anonymous, and would go home after the meetings and eat up a storm.

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