Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 229 lbs.

Well, I am ever so slowly and gradually inching my way down in weight. I mean I’m glad that I’m losing (and NOT gaining) and all, but yeesh, I had hoped to be down 80 lbs. by my upcoming 6 month anniversary, and I’m not sure I will get there.  On the other hand, I still have not “kicked” it up energy expenditure wise, and really do mean and want to, but blah, blah, blah….

Actually, I now may have a new “excuse”…I have applied and have an interview Monday for another p/t job to supplement my current one, and I have every reason to expect that it will go well. I am quite excited and nervous, and realize that I haven’t looked for a job in many years, and spent much of this afternoon attempting to update my resume for the occasion. I applied on-line so managed to not have to do this yet, but she requested that I have a good copy to bring with me on Monday. Given this website you’d think that I might actually know things about computers and Word and stuff - but you’d be quite wrong, as I remain a complete numnut! It was all I could do to not call my brother or computer geeks or somebody to help me today, and I still have only managed to produce an inferior and half complete product, after all my hard work. Although it is a good thing that my chosen profession is about talking to people and not technology, the “boss” did tell me today that the clinic just went to all computerized record keeping, and her staff have had to learn how to do everything this way now. Gulp!

Other than this, I am probably a shoe-in for the position, as it is exactly what I do now, and in a sister agency to that where I currently work. Although some may call them a competitor!

The woman that I got the call from and I have spoken before, and she immediately said that she was surprised and pleased to see my application, and very interested in having me on board. I am relieved by this, because I feared that she might be one of the people who thought that we were competitors, and reject me on this basis.

Tonight I plan to contentedly kick back, enjoy a pizza with my friend Janet who is due over soon, and focus on things other than bariatrics. I will probably have just bites and nibbles of the pizza, but can’t deny Janet this - her favorite and already requested food for this evening. I’d be lying if I said that I’d make myself a Lean Cuisine or something while she and Tom indulged, so I won’t even pretend that I am even considering this. Tonight, I just want to feel “normal” - and prove that one can be this even after radical surgery, and still not go crazy or have this indicate that all is lost. I hope that this mentality speaks as well to my on-line friend Chris, who is struggling as I was just prior to surgery, with confusion and anxiety about whether life goes on as we know it before the surgery. I’ve come to believe that TOO MUCH emphasis on diet and structure is not necessarily a good thing, and that there is really so much more to focus on, do and think about than regementing yourself to the nth degree in a way that separates you from the real world or focuses you so narrowly that other, more impoortant matters, take a back seat. (Like the bank STILL not refunding our money!!)

So, I guess the moral is that I may not be shaking it up much weight and diet wise, but I at least can bring change and challenge into my routine and structure in other ways! And for now, this is what I prefer to focus on!