Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 230 lbs.

Given the fact that Tom and I would be stuck eating cold cuts another night,  I offered for us to go to a buffet for dinner, so that we could both partake in someone else’s cooking and an opportunity for a vegetable or two. I called Tom before I left work at 5:30, and said that I would honk when I arrived. We were both very hungry, and stupidly, I ate as if I’d never heard the word “bypass” - fast and furious. I had some chicken soup, a salad, and some baked fish before…URP! What the hell was I thinking?! Why oh why do I not learn from past experience?!

I had assumed that it was the chewy meat that I had had last time that had done me in, but clearly it is more likely the bulk and pace of what I am eating instead.

God I am still in pain! I feel as if food is packed from my bowel to my esophagus, and is stuck everywhere in between. No amount of urping and burping is providing relief, and I guess I will have to hope for time to do the trick. I can’t even envision taking my vitamins right now, as I picture them just sitting on top of a sausage like structure of impacted food, and/or creating a situation like that on the Monty Python episode when a man eats a “wafer thin” after dinner mint against his better judgement, and the rest is history.

If I could throw up I would…but alas, I am left to suffer with my stupidity, and hopefully this will leave more of an impression than the quick fix of a good upchuck. Once again, note to self…!

Well, it is difficult to think of much else to say that won’t add to my pain, although I just must say that the bank has not yet done its thing to reimburse us despite another promise, and clearly will require even more time or follow up before things are resolved. I am trying not to get too unnecessarily crazy about this, but I must say that it pushes all my buttons having to do with trust, customer service, honesty and responsibility.

Hey, maybe if I keep talking about this, I WILL be able to barf! 

 Nah…it’s not worth it!