Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 233.5 lbs.

(This post was started at 3:45 am the day of our trip, and in no way is a substitute for Chris’ post to follow later today. More than one entry can be written in a day, and consider this a “bonus” for today — although more of a memorial really. I can’t sleep, am sad and wired and nervous and conflicted - so this is also written as much for the therapeutic value, as anything.)

We got a call yesterday from Tom’s best friend Jerry’s wife, that Jerry had passed away suddenly the day before. Jerry and Tom go back to their youth — 50 plus years of sharing a love of classic cars, history and families. Tom has few friends he can call his own, with Jerry being one of the only who he remained in frequent contact with, including monthly breakfasts together to catch up and laugh. Apparently Jerry had an embolism (blood clot), although we remain unsure of many details.

Nancy, his wife, speculated that there would be a memorial for him possibly Monday, but no church service or other formalities. He has been cremated.

We spoke with her and at great length with each other, and Tom has opted to continue with our plans for travel, in part, especially now, for the living to honor, remember, pay homage to and to grieve those who no longer walk with us. Originally this trip was in large part designed around Janet, whose sister Sally passed away just prior to our last trip, and who, on a few occassions in years past, was slated to travel with us if it weren’t for her cancer having returned instead. It is important to us to provide Janet this opportunity, and for all of us at this sobering time, to give and garner support. Nancy said that she was aware of our plans and understood, and we are sure to be there for her in the often more important days and needs to follow in the weeks after Jerry’s burial.

In talking with my friend Barb yesterday (and to check on her given her own health problems of late), she noted that before several of our trips we have received news of a loss. This includes the death of Tom’s brother the day after our wedding, necessitating that we cancel one of our two honeymoon weeks, and of course, casting a pallor over our celebratory spirits. Barb jokingly suggested that we stay put, as our travel plans seem to trigger a bad omen. But I suggested that people stop dying instead…!

Dark humor aside , if you know Tom and wish to send a note or a well wish, I’m sure that he would welcome the gesture. Otherwise, love those still with you, and please consider Jerry, and wish, as we do, that he rest in peace. He will be missed.