Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 237 lbs.

Today began with an insanely eary arising for no real reason, and ended in exhaustion. Why I felt the need to get up even before Tom left for his 6:20 bus run is beyond me. I have noticed that I have had more early energy lately, though, as if I am returned to the me I used to be who rose well before any alarm and had to be in bed by like 9:00. I wonder if being off the Paxil (yes, I am totally done now!) has something to do with this and the fact that I have almost manic energy at times. Not that I’m complaining…!

I also have noticed that many of my weird and annoying symptoms have subsided, and that I am not nearly as dizzy and “fuzzy-headed” as I had been, although I do tend to feel headachy quite often. I also remain much more sensitive emotionally; I’m not sure if this real me had been muted by the Paxil, or if there is something about going off of it that has unearthed deeper feelings — or perhaps it’s a temporary emotional reaction to withdrawal and other biological upheaval.

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