Necessary Mutilation

Weight: 240.5 lbs.

Well, I am slowly creeping back to just over a weight that I was like a week ago! I now cannot wait to see the 30s, and it feels as if it has been a long time since I was last in those numbers. What I can’t help but think — which  does tend to dampen my enthusiasm some however — is not only the fact that I am still fat, but that I am only now at a weight that some people start at and get bariatric surgery over. This, plus the fact that I am short and therefore still have over 100 pounds to lose, tends to depress me at times and take the focus off what I have lost and how much better I do feel. It seems to be a constant process of working with myself  and my attitude to ensure that I maintain optimism, perspective, and an eye on the bigger picture.

I guess that this is a credo for other areas of life as well, and one I must remember at work too, as I continue to be somewhat apprehensive and demoralized by doings there. I have been scheduled for spanking number two by my other supervisor, and have nothing but time to await this as it is scheduled for Friday. Mommies tend to spank harder than daddies (in my experience) and, though I may have gotten off “easy” with Kevin yesterday, I may not be so fortunate with MaryEllen on Friday. Dum de dum dum!  Gak!

Not much else in the way of wisdom, adventure, diet, or otherwise at this time. I had some yogurt with granola and strawberries in it for breakfast, and the other half of yesterday’s turkey snadwich for lunch. I have come home early from work to find my husband missing, so I haven’t sketched out dinner plans yet. For some reason I have a hankering for something hot and spicy, like chili or hot chicken wings, but something tells me this is a bad idea. Although we live in Buffalo, NY, the home of the great chicken wing, and I was as much an addict as any other self respecting Buffalonian, I haven’t had a one since surgery. I like them suicidally hot, but now this would probably burn a hole clear through my pouch and halfway to China, I expect. Perhaps I should think of an alternative menu for dinner!

Well, it is finally a beautiful and rain-free day here and I didn’t get off early to sit inside and type my fingers off ….  Be good and I’ll try to do the same!