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Weight: 235 (!) lbs.
Not surprisingly, I gained weight! My new, slovenly, hedonistic lifestyle being pampered and indulged may have suited my personality, but not my girth. So, now I am back to cooking my own food (well, reheating leftovers, anyway), working and tending house. But worst of all, I am back to writing my own posts - I miss coming home and reading all the cool stuff others had to say, and even if not for the fun and food, its worth a trip again, just to have the pleasure of having others fill in for me! Hopefully, those of you brave and kind enough to take on this task weren’t too put out by this, and maybe even enjoyed the chance to write whatever you wanted for the day. And I just loved how each of you chose something different and interesting, and of certain value to others at any stage and type of the weight loss journey. It reminds me of how everyone always asks what they should bring when we have a big cookout here, and I rarely dictate, because I know that rather than 20 bags of the same chips, without instruction, people will naturally all bring different and interesting dishes to the table, and it is rare that there will be repeats or items of little interest to others. Half the fun is delighting in the mix of what is brought, and enjoying each for what it has to offer and how different it is from the others.
So, thank you all once again for allowing me my break away — and what a break it was! My friend asked in the car on the way home what everyone’s favorite part of the trip was. Janet said that having a delicious strawberry daiquiri, her first in like 20 years, was up there amongst beach walks and the sights. Tom was too busy driving to answer, but had earlier told me that he too enjoyed the beach and just being away with good friends with no major agenda. Debbie seemed to like it all, and like me, seems torn between whether the view, food or overall experience of getting away was best. The first night Tom and I were put up, gratis, by the Borgata, while my friends were unfortunately given a rather crummy room at Caesars. When we joined them at Caesars the 2nd night, I called to see if we could upgrade to ocean front rooms - and voila!, we ended up living in the lap of luxury, care of Harrah’s, for the remaining 2 nights. I even took a picture of the awesome LCD TV built right into the mirror in the bathroom (tuned into The Family Guy!), ’cause I thought this was way cool and now find that our bathroom at home just doesn’t cut it anymore!
We also visited the beautiful pool at Bally’s adjoining property, but didn’t actually go in it. I would never be caught dead in a public pool, so I had a reason, but Tom, who had even brought his suit, just decided against it for no real reason. Or, perhaps it was because he was busy being dragged from spa to spa and gift shop to gift shop by me, who had been comped so many dollars in freebies, that I was whipped into a shopping frenzy in an attempt to ensure that I didn’t leave any money on the “table.” And boy did I have fun — even better than garage sales! I bought a few gemstone globes to add to my collection garnered from other casino junkets, a pretty windchime, numerous bath products, gifts and other sundries. Tom even got a new leather wallet, 2 pairs of swim trunks that he probably won’t use next year either, and FOOD!
Here is a picture of the receipt from our indulgence at Pickles, the NY style deli at Bally’s for which we had a $150 voucher that had to be eaten in one visit. The irony is that I can only eat a little now, and my two girlfriends are toothpicks with little appetities. This left Tom to eat the lion’s share, and us to use 6 (yes, six!) take out boxes ‘o fattening food, lest it go to waste. And even then, if you look carefully, we only used $120 of the voucher. We joked about picking up some strangers from the boardwalk and feeding them too - which is actually a very bad joke because it is evident there that some people truly could benefit from a hot meal and some shelter.
In any case, I/we ate great, or terribly, depending on what perspective you have on this. You may see that only one item on this menu is even remotely redeeming - or perhaps two, if you count the sugar free dessert. (BTW, I was referring to the chili).
So…I ate bits and bites of this and that, and many other huge and amazing meals elsewhere too, given that Harrah’s kept the comps flowing. One night, as pre-planned, we ate at McCormick and Scmick’s, and I got the most incredible scallops with pumpkin risotto. Normally, in the past, I would have laughed at a plate that had only 4 scallops on it. But now, 4 was actually maybe one too many, but the tastiest and most elegant dish that I can say that I’ve had in years! Tom and I are very simple eaters, and unfortunaely he had trouble finding something recognizeable to eat, so just chose the fish fry instead. Same with Janet, who actually dislikes seafood, and simply ordered a salad (albeit, exotic) instead. Debbie’s fillet mignon was fabulous, and then we all split 2 cool desserts…and still didn’t use the whole voucher, once again. Although this meal, we came close!
I must say that our worst eating experience, perhaps even more dismal than the Ponderosa that we stopped at in Cortland NY on our drive home, was the Caesar’s buffet. God, it was pathetic, and the lady carving up the prime rib was rude and nasty, reminding me of the hunk of beef that Barb had thrown to her by a similarily rude server on our recent trip to Bally’s buffet.
Well, enough about the food part of the trip. Here’s a picture of Tom and me “snuggling” on the boardwalk, while on a beautiful evening stroll with our friends. We walked the boardwalk and beach many times, with my favorite being in the early morning of our return trip, when it was still very cool (like 7:30 am) and the beach was almost empty. Except for a lone metal detectionist who we “befriended”, and who it turns out, lives in Kenmore, NY, which is only minutes from us! We told him about the local metal detecting group that we belong to, and he seemed pleased and plans to come to our next meeting. He said that the best thing that he had found, BTW, was not the handful of coins he dug up on the beach, but the possibly diamond watch his daughter-in-law picked up off the casino floor!
And, in case you are dying to see what I did while on the beach, here’s a picture of some of my finds…beautiful sea shells of all types and my favorite- weathered pieces of glass and rocks that have fused together and look like little pieces of fossilized artwork!
Lastly, here’s a shot of Tom visiting the Korean War monument near Ballys…one of many shots as he stands amongst amazing bronze statues and poignant mementos and writings.
Now Janet, who had a quality camera and a better eye for a great shot, also took a zillion pictures, and I am hoping that if she shoots some my way, I may see fit to post a few other choice ones in upcoming posts. In fact, Janet took pics of things I didn’t even have our camera with us for, and she takes great pains to ensure a quality shot. (Hint, hint….)
In other trip and bariatric news, now I really know why they recommend against drinking this soon after surgery! I actually don’t remember having had as bad of a reaction to my frozen drink last time, as I did this time. Boy, was I like snockered after just one lounge drink! OK - so it was like a HUGE strawberry daiquiri with enough sugar in it to kill a diabetic, let alone alcohol. Not a good drunk feeling either - more like a wobbly, stoned, hung over feeling that only made me play that much stupider on the slot machines afterwards. And, the Pina Colada I had the day before simply made me sick - flushed, hot, dizzy…but still, no real dumping. Before you bludgeon me for being SO bad, these were the worst liberties I took - and otherwise, was at least a little moderate in my choices.
On Monday morning, and perhaps due to the Colada of Sunday night, I had such a bad migraine type headache that when out alone with Tom for breakfast, I couldn’t decide whether to eat or throw up in my plate of food. I haven’t felt THIS bad in ages, and of course, had no ibuprophen to take until reunited with Janet tortuous hours later. And the fact that I got my “P” the minute we arrived (which subsided the minute we left,of course), didn’t help any either!
Unfortunately, as seems to be true often lately, the worst part of our experience was the gambling. Although we had truly planned to use just our free vouchers and possibly even take any profits home…needless to say, we are clearly way too stupid and addicted to have been this disciplined. So instead of going home with their money, and profit to us, we naturally lost both theirs and some of ours, probably paying in full for all our “freebies” and those we got for our friends, as well.
Oh well - all is fair in love and war, and overall it was a trip to be remembered and cherished, and very much, just what “the doctor ordered!” We certainly hope, and believe, that our good friends can say the same, and this too, made it all worthwhile!
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[Today's entry is by guest columnist Barbara.]
This is my last chance to babble on Donna’s blog so here goes. Donna and Tom shall be returning tonight with their car full of their winnings. I only hope there is enough room for Janet and Debbie. I remember the fun time we had in August when we went to Atlantic City with them. Donna would fill her plate at the buffets and, when she was done eating, or should I say nibbling, her plate would look almost as full when it was taken away. Ours, on the other hand, came to the table loaded and left the table finger-licking clean. I think that’s why I really don’t enjoy Buffets that much anymore. I feel guilty because I would not think twice before telling an alcoholic he/she is a fool to go to a bar and think they are not going to drink too much and yet I will go into a Buffet and think I will not overeat. Well, to be honest with you when I go to the Buffet it is nice to have a variety of food and I have been careful to only take a spoonful serving of the dishes I like. I have to say the next day when I have gotten onto the scale it must have paid off because I don’t gain weight. Let’s talk about exercise. I would love to tell you that I run every day but the only thing that runs on me is my mouth. I would also like to tell you that I go to the gym everyday and work out, but the only thing that gets a workout for me is my left arm when I use it to get food into my mouth. I’d like to be able to tell you I do the “Walking DVD” but if the truth be known I sit on my recliner and watch it and when it’s all done I feel as if I completed the DVD. Same thing with Fit TV, I can sit for hours watching that handsome guy and the two girls with the “10” bodies do their perfect exercise moves. Problem is when I get dressed and my pants are still tight to button I am always so surprised because I was sure I had done 30 minutes of aerobics each day. Once again I have to say that Donna’s daily blogs have inspired me to get this part of my life in order too. So I made a commitment to go to the gym near my home at least 3 days per week. First three weeks were great and then I crashed with being diagnosed with Atrial Fibrillation (erratic heartbeat) and had to be put on meds. Of course until my body gets used to the meds just walking around my house doing light chores makes me feel exhausted. Sometimes I swear I take one foot forward and two feet backwards. Will I give up? No, I will plug on knowing that the best thing any of us can do is to work on keeping our hearts healthy. This week I shall go back to the gym three days minimally. It is time for me to close and say parting farewells and thanks for reading my babble.
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[Today's entry is by guest columnist Barbara.]
This is my debut that I have anticipated for weeks and here I am speechless. For my friends who know me I know it’s hard to believe. I can’t remember too many times in my life when I have struggled with finding something to talk about so this is uncharted territory for me. For the faithful followers of Donna’s journey through Bariatric Surgery and life thereafter I must admit I am not part of the family. Looking in the mirror I ask myself why not? Truth be known it’s called fear. Until Donna’s surgery and her blog I claimed fear based on the unknown but now I have to come to grips that it’s just plain fear of pain, shame, and failure. Pain in that I would dread the recovery, shame in that I’d have to tell my family and friends I couldn’t do it alone, and failure in that what if I had it and it didn’t work or even worse years later I’d be in the same boat but with track marks on my belly. Faithfully reading Donna’s blog has made me rethink my fears and my goals in life. I have come to the conclusion that I need to put food in its rightful place in my life. Eat to be healthy but at the same time enjoy eating. My problem is when it comes to enjoy eating it means eating anything I want in any portion and the consequences of that mindset is why I am overweight today. Because of Donna’s blog and the many conversations regarding her new way of eating I have found the drive to set out and once again and get my eating in order. I have been following something between Atkins, South Beach, and Susan Sommers, Sommersize diet. I have lost 13.5 lbs in 3.5 weeks and feel on a roll. It’s funny, but as I eat less carbohydrates the cravings disappear. Where I wanted to nibble on something constantly throughout the day, I now can go four hours without eating and not be starving. Sometimes not even thinking about food. Can I stay on such a disciplined eating lifestyle? I believe I can as long as I plan what I am going to eat before eating and not just slip into mindless eating. Also, if I vary my eating choices and prepare new menus I believe I can succeed. Time will tell and as long as Donna’s blog is up and running I shall continue to draw strength and determination.
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[Thank you to Libby for this entry!]
Hello Necessary Mutilation readers! My name is Libby and I am a soon to be former fat chick.
I have been a fat chick my whole life. I am three months post op RNY Gastric Bypass surgery. I have lost an amazing 70lbs so far, and am still going strong. While I would love to post here and toot my own horn, I am dedicating this post to a very important subject for any post op gastric bypass patient: Support.
Support: give moral or psychological support, aid, or courage to (via Google search).
One can not succeed at gastric bypass with out some type of support. It is essential. Support can come from a variety of sources, and my goal here today is to enlighten you fine readers with where you can go!
First off: Family, Friends, Etc…
You say, no duh, but this isn’t as easy as it appears. People in this world are very judgemental, “Oh you’re having…SURGERY” Why yes, I am having life altering surgery….. ”Have you tried dieting?” No…why would I try dieting? OF COURSE I TRIED DIETING!
We’ve heard it all. When I decided to have GB (Gastric Bypass), I decided to tell everyone. I told all my coworkers, most of my family, all of my friends, all of the Internet even (shameless plug to my blog losinglibby.blogspot.com), I have even told most of my clients. I have had the motto that the more people I can educate, the better. That being said, it definitely didn’t make it easy to tell. In the long run, I’m glad I did this, as people support me now, and my decision, and even encourage me. They are excited about my progress, and keep me motivated.
Second: Support Groups
Support Groups can be very beneficial for the post op’er. Everyone is basically in the same boat, either getting ready for surgery, thinking about it, or already had it. It is a place to come and complain about how you’re feeling, or boast about how awesome you are doing. Some even have added bonuses of clothing exchanges, fun outings, and menu ideas. I find them to be comforting, especially when someone else is missing a certain food you are missing, or can’t seem to find the perfect piece of clothing to help hid the skin flaws.
Third: The Interwebs!
When you’re busy in life, sometimes you just don’t have time to make it to a meeting, or you don’t feel like talking to someone live and in person. The Internet then, is your friend!
Sites such as www.obesityhelp.com can provide basically 24/7 support. There are a variety of topics that you can explore through here, from what to eat, what to wear, how to go out on a date post op, and so on. It has been very helpful, and introduced me to a lot of very fun and supportive Internet friends.
Bloggers can also be very supportive and give you new ideas. One of my favorites, theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com, provides delicious and practical recipes for not only pre and post op GB patients, but frankly, anyone who likes food! Reading about someone elses success is very comforting. Also www.meltingmama.net/ Melting Mama provides a ton of resources and ideas for success. Most people online also keep it real. This life changing surgery isn’t always sunshine and roses! Its hard work, physically and emotionally, and you better be ready for it.
Twitter is another great resource for weight loss surgery. You can join us on our Twibe! Twibes makes it easy to participate in the conversations you care about. Come check us out: www.twibes.com/group/weightlosssurgery
So this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to support. Not everyone of these resources is going to work out for you. Some will even be disappointing to you at some point, but with the variety of options, you can never use the excuse that you were never supported. You will be supported on your decision to have WLS, you just have to be the one that goes out there and finds it!
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[Today's entry is by guest columnist Chris.]
What was I thinking?
First I have to say I’m so sorry I completely forgot yesterday was “my day”. My day in the sun!!! I could say that I was overcome by the pressure of being made famous but the truth is, I just forgot. Which leads me into my post What Was I Thinking???
I am at the beginning of my WLS journey. And like most attempts I make at “turning over a new leaf” or living healthier it started off with a bang. I was on track with losing weight, feeling good, absorbed with all things surgery related and getting prepared. I lost 25 pounds without blinking! And it seemed… pointless. To make myself “feel better” about not feeling great about the weight loss I started to sneak in some Celebrating foods! Brownies! Pizza! Carbs! Full Sugar Soda! What was I thinking???? I have surgery less then a month away and I can’t stop cramming the wrong foods into my face! I don’t even drink soda anymore, yet when the opportunity arises… non diet for me! Who does that? At first I was thinking, this is my last time to binge, you know, for the rest of my life! But WLS is just a tool, not a fix. If you don’t use it, you won’t get the results you really need. The results I really need! So far I’ve stopped losing and GAINED back 5 pounds! What was I thinking??? Oh and the worst part.. I’m not happier. The comfort foods actually make me pissy. Argumentative. Depressed. Worried. More absent-minded than I am when I’m not scarffing down simple sugars! Yesterday I had donuts for breakfast, skipped lunch because I didn’t feel like eating the chicken I had all cut up for lunch, pizza for dinner with a Coke! When I think about it, my head goes “Yummy Want More!” but the rest of me is realizing I didn’t even enjoy it. I just went through the motions. I feel like a crack addict, only sugar is my drug.
What can I do?
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Weight: 233.5 lbs.
(This post was started at 3:45 am the day of our trip, and in no way is a substitute for Chris’ post to follow later today. More than one entry can be written in a day, and consider this a “bonus” for today — although more of a memorial really. I can’t sleep, am sad and wired and nervous and conflicted - so this is also written as much for the therapeutic value, as anything.)
We got a call yesterday from Tom’s best friend Jerry’s wife, that Jerry had passed away suddenly the day before. Jerry and Tom go back to their youth — 50 plus years of sharing a love of classic cars, history and families. Tom has few friends he can call his own, with Jerry being one of the only who he remained in frequent contact with, including monthly breakfasts together to catch up and laugh. Apparently Jerry had an embolism (blood clot), although we remain unsure of many details.
Nancy, his wife, speculated that there would be a memorial for him possibly Monday, but no church service or other formalities. He has been cremated.
We spoke with her and at great length with each other, and Tom has opted to continue with our plans for travel, in part, especially now, for the living to honor, remember, pay homage to and to grieve those who no longer walk with us. Originally this trip was in large part designed around Janet, whose sister Sally passed away just prior to our last trip, and who, on a few occassions in years past, was slated to travel with us if it weren’t for her cancer having returned instead. It is important to us to provide Janet this opportunity, and for all of us at this sobering time, to give and garner support. Nancy said that she was aware of our plans and understood, and we are sure to be there for her in the often more important days and needs to follow in the weeks after Jerry’s burial.
In talking with my friend Barb yesterday (and to check on her given her own health problems of late), she noted that before several of our trips we have received news of a loss. This includes the death of Tom’s brother the day after our wedding, necessitating that we cancel one of our two honeymoon weeks, and of course, casting a pallor over our celebratory spirits. Barb jokingly suggested that we stay put, as our travel plans seem to trigger a bad omen. But I suggested that people stop dying instead…!
Dark humor aside , if you know Tom and wish to send a note or a well wish, I’m sure that he would welcome the gesture. Otherwise, love those still with you, and please consider Jerry, and wish, as we do, that he rest in peace. He will be missed.
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Weight: ????
There is a spider on my scale. Actually, after having a stare down with little Ananse while doing my bathroom business, (s)he went from sitting atop my scale, to skittering underneath it, perhaps now to inhabit its guts and require Tom, who has already left for his bus run, to blast him/her out so I can safely resume my morning weigh-in. I hate killing insects, and generally will let them live and just hope that they go away on their own to places I can’t see and where neither of us will have to cross paths again. Somehow it just seems cruel to snuff out an innocent life just because they scare the bejesus out of me…so I will either leave Tom to be the judge and executioner, or better yet, live and let live. However, a spider having set up shop in something I rely on daily, may require offensive action. But, I think I’ll give him ’til Wednesday to find another “apartment”, and just not tell the poor cat sitting teenager about him in the mean time. Shhh…. (And as to my weight, I suppose that I could drag my naked self down to the basement “professional scale” for a look-see, but I’m too lazy, and I might have to encounter all the lonely exercise equipment set up nearby, and this would just be too sad!)
Continue reading “Charlotte’s Web”
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Weight: 235 lbs. (?!)
Yippee! Today starts the beginning of my vacation, and boy do I need some time off from reality! We have a million things to do to get ready for our trip which may end up feeling more like a forced march than a vacation, but it still beats our usual grind!
I have bought a ton of snacks for all of us, and comically, many of them I can’t even eat but they were fun to get. There are: 2 kinds of grapes, cheese crackers, peanut butter filled pretzels, jars of nuts, wafer cookies, fig bars, granola bars and other crunchies. Janet said that she is bringing licorice, snack bars and pretzels. Not sure yet what or if Debbie will be contributing to the carb. loading. Hopefully everyone won’t end up passed out in a puddle of drool (especially the driver!) before we even reach our destination. I am also bringing flavored and regular bottles of water and my diet cheese sticks so I at least have something semi decent to eat and drink.
Tomorrow there is laundry to do, packing, confering with our cat sitter, gasing and cleaning up of the car, etc etc. Wheeee…!
I have already managed to gain another pound just in anticipation of the delicacies I am likely to be exposed to both enroute and while there. I figure - why wait!? After all, this way I won’t have to be so depressed about gaining while away, if I did it before hand too!
In good news, it seems as if the bank has finally cooperated and refunded our money to us - although at last check there remained a stray international fee that hadn’t quite come through yet. But, close enough for now, and at least we won’t start out broke. That will come AFTER we are there, like it should! LOL!
Well, I am off to fuss and fidget with all that must be done, and will post once more before launching on Saturday. For those who are covering in my absence, Roy said that if you want to send a draft to him in advance of your chosen posting day, this would be fine. Just let him know which date you want it posted on, and he will hold it until then. In a way he prefers this, as this way he too can take a little break, and he won’t have to be anxious waiting for each of you to follow through on your specified day, not knowing what time he should look for it etc.
But, this, as well as the content is up to you - and we trust that you will do what works best and makes most sense. (But I am warning you that I will cry real tears if anyone writes about losing endless weight fast and effortlessly and dropping like a stone - leaving me in the dust and to feel sorry for myself over my relatively slow and arduous process!) Ha Ha!
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Weight: 234 lbs.
I am so full from dinner right now that I’m not sure whether to go hurl, or to finish this post first. Unfortunately, I had to start back on Prilosec yesterday, as I noticed the burning, hurty sensation and nausea that I had before that seemed indicative of a possible ulcer. I hate to take Prilosec, as each time that I have had to go back on it, although I feel better in all the above ways, it tends to deaden my ability to sense things like satiety, and I more easily can eat too much and not notice how full I am as readily. Without it, my “pouch” kicks up much sooner, and whether it is an ulcer or fullness, I am given a clearer signal that “ouch”, it’s time to stop eating.
Continue reading “Full and Full of Crap”
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Weight: 234 lbs.
Well, I “gained” back just one of my recent lost pounds, and for me, this still is a good and now seemingly solid loss. After tonight’s large julienne salad with (low fat) raspberry vinegriette dressing, I fear that I may have put another pound back on by tomorrow. But, was it worth it! Again I got home relatively late from both work, and having to pick my car back up from the shop where I had left it this morning for its 15,000 check-up, and was starving enough to eat the whole thing.
I was also too weary on the way home to stop at the convenient mart as I had planned and put off until tonight, to buy some lottery tickets to put into Tom’s anniversary card. So poor Tom got nothin’ except a card and a kiss - and now we will have to celebrate extra hard while away to make up for it! (Although the night isn’t over yet!)
Continue reading “Cannabalism at its Best”
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