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Weight: 249.5 lbs.
Today began and ended with Sally. As prearranged, Tom and I arrived by 7:00 am to Sally’s house with the intention of keeping watch to allow Janet, her sister, to get to work on time. Unfortunately, Sally’s sudden turn for the worse kept Janet from going to work, and kept her and me busy trying to minister to Sally’s needs. She had markedly worsened since we were there just two days earlier, and is now largely unresponsive and needing total assistance. Hospice only provides for a minimum number of aide hours, leaving most caretaking responsibilities to family until extra aide hours can be secured on a private-pay basis.
However, come evening, the hospice nurse confirmed what I think some had suspected, and family and friends are now gathering to spend what will likely be final days or hours with Sally.
As such, I am not of the right spirit or mindset to say much more today. I just ask for prayers for a peaceful passing for Sally, and that her loved ones, like my good friend Janet, may find their way through their loss and feel good to know that they did everything right and loving to the very end.
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Weight: 250 lbs.
Today I went to work so fuzzy-headed that I had a hell of a time figuring out my duties and getting organized enough to tackle them. I had less than stellar counseling sessions with those unfortunate enough to be scheduled with me today, and otherwise struggled to get through the day before leaving early. I was “done” by 2:30 and, as a consultant, I can leave when my work is complete. I was home by 3:00, and the whole drive home I was strategizing for the best use of such precious “found” hours. Like always, my head works faster than my body, and I was so full of ways to be creative and energetic with my time that, when I arrived home, I was so exhausted I had to take a nap instead! I suspect that deep down I knew this all along, and that this was the reason for my fuzz-head in the first place.
Continue reading “A Nap Before Bedtime and Other Tales of Exhaustion”
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Weight: 250.5 lbs.
I didn’t get to exercise this morning, and I actually miss it! Today Tom and I set the alarm for 5:00am and were out the door by 6:00, as we had offered to help out both this morning and this Friday morning to sit with Sally in the 7-9am timeslot that my friend Janet and her siblings were unable to fill with aides or other caretakers. This allowed Janet to try and get to work on time, as she could leave Sally’s house after staying overnight then head home in time to prepare for her 8:00am job. We were glad for the opportunity both to visit with Sally a little and to have some meaningful way to be of help to Janet. Just the same, although we did nothing more than be there in case Sally were to need us, it was a rather tiresome start to a long work day and I will have to resume my workout tomorrow as I have no energy left today to do much more than write this and drool over TV.
Continue reading “A General Absence of Gross Psychopathology”
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Weight: 250.5 lbs.
Guess how many buffets Tom and I ate at yesterday while having our R & R day at the casino(s)?! Let me first start by saying that we arrived at the local (Niagara Falls, NY) casino at around 11:00 am, and just in time for an early lunch. I was already hungry, as I had only had a small bit of oatmeal very early and had walked 3 laps on the treadmill and felt as if I had burned it off. So, we went straight to the buffet where we used our “free” points and paid nothing but a tip for all we could eat. Sometimes a bargain is no deal, however, and this is no doubt true for any buffet following gastric bypass surgery. But, I did attempt to get my “money’s worth” and ate several shrimp, some chicken, a little stir-fried beef, chicken noodle soup (sans the noodles), tomatoes, carrots, mushrooms, and other assorted miscellaneous items. It is amazing just how much I can eat before fullness hits, and I manage to tolerate everything without any problems. Regrettable, this is a recipe for old, bad habits, and I find myself enjoying my food too darn much.
Continue reading “World Record for Overeating Post-Weight-Loss Surgery!”
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Weight: 250.5 lbs.
Today, Tom and I are off for a well-deserved day of R & R at the casino. He remains off for the summer, and I am off on Mondays. Although each Monday so far this month we also went, we did this just to “score” on the free money that they loaded onto our playing cards. Today, we plan to start by playing this money but then move on to the Canadian casino afterwards to then enjoy some leisurely play with, hopefully, what we won here beforehand. The reason we plan to play in Canada casinos is quite simply that they do not allow smoking. When our casino is crowded, as it tends to be due to the special promotion, the smoke is killer. As non-smokers, Tom and I are easily overwhelmed and sickened by too much smoke, and we come home reeking and with sore eyes and throats. In Canada, which is just a stone’s throw away, it also is not likely to be crowded, as most people probably work on a Monday and, if not stupid enough to be drawn to the casino like we are, won’t be bothered to come on a weekday.
So, we’ll see how we manage both financially and dietarily — as those yummy buffets await us and beckon when we get hungry.
Continue reading “Temptations and Addictions”
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Weight: 252 lbs.
Oh, to be out of the 50’s…soon, I hope! It seems to be taking forever to drop just the most wee bit, and I am sick of seeing practically the same numbers day after day.
As promised to myself and my readers, I did begin my exercise routine this morning. I actually found myself enjoying a brisk ride on the exercycle, followed by a two-lap “jog” on the treadmill. Granted, I’m not ready for the gold medal just yet, but it’s a start. I put in 30 minutes, and hope to increase time, speed, and mileage as time goes along. It’s the starting that seems to have taken the longest and has been the hardest.
Continue reading “The Emperor’s New Clothes”
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Weight: 253 lbs.
Today Tom and I went to a zillion garage and block sales before the skies opened up (again!), and we bought great junk of all kinds. I now think that my “transfer addiction” is buying and owning large quantities of others’ castoffs. Sure beats eating, if you ask me!
Afterwards, we picked Janet up to drive her out for a brief birthday lunch, as we talked about last night on the phone, and she agreed that she would like this and could take a short break from watching Sally to go out. We picked her up at Sally’s house, visiting with Sally and her sweet best friend for a while first. We were heartened to find Sally looking quite good in bed, and to see that indeed she was responsive and interested in what was going on around her. She smiled at our jokes, said a few words, and asked for some take-out beef souvlaki from the restaurant that we were taking Janet to. Like me, she is typically a great eater and a woman who will probably savor food every minute that she can. What was especially ominous about her condition just a few days ago was her sudden disinterest in food and her new inability to keep it down. Now, however, she seems to have rebounded some, and everyone is thrilled at her returned appetitie and apparently settled digestive system. We were all probably never so happy to hear someone order take-out before!
Continue reading “Move Over, Jack LaLanne”
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Weight: 253 lbs.
Today is a sobering reminder that weight isn’t everything and that the universe is made up of so much more than what I eat for dinner.
Tonight we had plans to celebrate my friend Janet’s 47th birthday. She and other longtime friend, Debbie, were due over for a dinner out and a relaxing evening.
Unfortunately, Janet called early this morning to say that she had to cancel, as her sister, Sally, has taken a turn for the worse with her multi-year battle with cancer, and is now struggling with sustaining herself in even the most basic of ways. Janet and her siblings and Sally’s friends have been providing her in-home care and support, but as she is deteriorating, the question has now arisen as to whether she can remain at home any longer. Until very recently she had a good appetite despite her physical deterioration, but apparently is now no longer interested in food and has begun to vomit. She appears to have entered that inward place where people go shortly before passing, and is no longer communicative or able to walk or follow some directions. I know that shortly before my mother passed away some years ago, she turned inward as if preparing for the ultimate detachment from everything and everyone.
Continue reading “Putting Things in Perspective”
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Weight: 253.5 lbs.
I am home early from work today in part because my workload has lessened and I can, but also because Tom’s family is in from Florida and we are entertaining them this evening and I have a lot to do. First we are meeting them at Danny’s restaurant for a ten-person gathering. This includes his sister, brother-in-law, their daughter and her husband, their grandchildren (ages 5 and 10), and Tom’s local sister and brother-in-law. I’m sure there will be plenty of talk and food! Danny’s is known for its excellent soup and salad bar, with including great “chicken wing soup.” It is a scrumptious mix of white meat chicken, hot sauce, blue cheese, and who-knows-what-else, but I’m sure it’s not the healthiest dish you can consume. Nevertheless, I expect to have at least a taste, as Danny’s just wouldn’t be Danny’s without it. Plus, they have three other soups for the taking, and these are bound to be just as tasty. My historic favorites are cream of mushroom and barbeque beef — but, at this point, neither would be a good choice, so I actually rather hope that they don’t have them to tempt me. The all-you-can-eat soup and salad bar comes with all the entrees and is hard to resist!
Continue reading “Lots of Soup for Me!”
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Weight: 254 lbs.
I seem to be stuck, weightwise. (Maturationally too, some may argue!) I believe that I have been eating within reasonable guidelines lately, although I haven’t posted my daily intake as I used to and could be consuming entire mammals for all anyone would know.
Today I had my usual husband-made oatmeal with peanut butter, skim milk, a banana, and flax seeds. I only can eat a few bites, and will likely eat the rest of the bowl over the next two breakfasts. For “lunch” I had a cheese stick at work and then, later, half a wrap sandwich with chicken, mayo, tomato, and lettuce in it.
For dinner, I had a bowl of Healthy Choice Chicken Noodle Soup, minus the noodles which I ditched. Then I had the remainder of a yogurt parfait with strawberries and granola in it that came from the Casino on Monday and has been nibbled down to nothing throughout the week.
Continue reading “The Strain in My Brain Causes Me Pain (and to Gain!)”
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July 31st, 2009 | 
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