Necessary Mutilation

At-home weight: 297 lbs.

I dreamt all last night about acquiring and eating large quantities of favorite foods.  In one dream, my current supervisor and an ex-client (who weigh less together than I do as one person) both tried to talk me out of ordering items from the “all you can eat” sub place that we were frequenting.  Even the counter help tried to dissuade, manipulate and trick me out of my order, while I watched them serve countless, mouthwatering subs and other items to the crowds of people around me. In this dream, I needed to know what I could down and how it would taste, so when my (2!) subs came (tuna and cheese), I began voraciously eating them while standing at the order counter; savoring each crumb and feeling every morsel as it went down. Only to discover that I didn’t like, want or need it as bad as I thought when my husband woke me early so he could help me out of bed and with early morning routines, before rushing off to work as a school bus driver.  (If he left me till he returned at 9:15 I’d probably pee the bed and be unable to get out alone till my incisions allow me to maneuver my bulk from flat to sitting, just yet).

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