Necessary Mutilation

Thank God, I got my period!  Crap, I got my period!  No wonder I felt so yucky yesterday.

 How I’ve worried that it would come like the minute I lay down on the operating table — adding cramps and (more) blood to an already unpleasant equation.  Yuk!

On the other hand, I ache so badly already without my anti-inflammatory medications and with cramps to boot — ouch!  I feel like I have a headache from head to toe - and the stress at work is enormous today as I try to wind down in good graces.  Distraught clients; enraged parents; overdue paperwork hold me up from my 5:00 dinner plans with Stephanie (my student) - but thank God she is patient and resilient enough to allow me the extra time I need to regain my composure and sanity through supervision, before I take her out.

At 6:00 we head to Danny’s restaurant- me unhungry (!) and with a splitting headache but determined to honor the ritual of treating outgoing interns and enjoying our final time together.  She is bubbly and sweet and pleasant, as always, and eventually I warm up and settle in and manage to gather enough appetite to enjoy three bowls of soup from their salad/soup bar — including their famous chicken wing soup.

I couldn’t be more stressed, exhausted and overwrought when I finally get home after 8:00 — and my poor husband is then the sounding board for my long and stressful day while anxiety is also growing as 4/28 grows nearer.

I am soo tired though that part of me welcomes the rest and break — at least I don’t have to perform the surgery.  How hard can just lying there be?

I must be exhausted!