04 April 2009 «Necessary Mutilation

No Rest for the Wicked

Boy am I dreaming a lot of bizarre things lately that are no doubt related to crevices of anxiety about surgery. It feels like it’s hard to find true respite from omnipresent thoughts and feelings about before, during and after surgery.

You name it; I think or worry about it. How long will it take to recover? How much will it hurt? How gross will it be? How will Tom fare during and after? When will I be able to resume somewhat normal life again? What will it be like without food as the focus of my life? How much will I (and Tom) miss our old ways (together). Just what will I eat? Will my friends shun me because I’m not as food fun? Will I really lose lots of weight? What will that be like? Will I be all flubby and scarred? How will my medications be titrated if my pre-surgery conditions improve? How will my clients fare without me? My co-workers, the agency?

I’m getting very weary….

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04/28 - 05/05: Lost 5.5 lbs.
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