Necessary Mutilation

Today I had to work a long day as we had a 5:00 staff meeting after normal work hours.  I have been aware and had reinforced at the meeting that our little “Health Care Center” is both facing a Medicaid Audit and about to transition to an alternative operating mode (possibly by March 1st, we’re told in the meeting).  It is not exactly clear what this will entail, but secretly I sit wondering, at each timeframe referenced, where I’d be at that point in my journey.  Mostly I worry about when I would need to take off, and especially if this would interfere with my supervision of my student (whose last week is in early May) or the “feelings management” clients group we hope to co-lead thru early spring.

Finally, unable to contain my feelings and at a timely point in the meeting, I reveal my intentions to my bosses and co-workers - five social workers, a mental health counselor, and one psychologist.  Two already knew about it, and I prefaced what I said with this, as they are my good female friends when not at work.

Interestingly, colleagues said little, other than Zoe’s offer of “support” and my supervisor’s (Mary Ellen’s) congratulations, reinforcing of my need to do what is healthy and necessary for me, and offer to take on my student if I must leave before her tenure.

Although the otherwise silence was awkward, I can certainly understand the muting effect that such a pronouncement can have. And exactly WHAT are people (even those trained in human wisdom) supposed to say? “You are fat!” “Good luck,” “Good for you,” and “Way to lose, girl!”